Oh the irony! Chelsea, it seems, don't want him. Levy, it seems, has told 'Arry he can't have him. Wenger, it seems, has declared, "Il n'est pas Francais". Man City, it seems, haven't even noticed he is available. Dalglish, it seems, wants every other living Englishman ahead of him.
So poor Scotty is left low and dry, beached on the banks of the Thames, unloved and unwanted despite the Player of the Year medal draped around his neck and his two recent caps worn jauntily on his head. How can this be? How can the best player in the whole of England be so cruelly shunned in this way?
But there is hope. Aston Villa, who so nearly plummeted from the Prem last season and who have subsequently shed their keeper and two best outfield players, want to buy Scotty and are willing to spend £7million to get him. They also want N'Zogbia who was involved in a relegation scrap himself last season.
Hang on, pause a moment! Last season a team in Claret and Blue appointed a manager who had guided his previous club to Wembley and relegation - and he made Parker the fulcrum of his team! Now a team in Claret and Blue have appointed a manager who guided his last team to Wembley and relegation and he wants to make Parker the fulcrum of his team too!
What is it they say about history repeating itself, first as a tragedy and then as a farce?