Don't Cry For Me, David Sullivan!

Bring out the violins, poor David Sullivan wants our sympathy! He is working night and day to keep our club afloat. His children were weeping in frustration during their family holiday because Daddy was on the phone so much, trying to save our club. Money is going out in all directions. The club can't afford the wage bill! The appearance money for the Oxford game was £45,000 and there was another £9,000 to be paid in win bonuses thanks to Parker's last minute goal. (Damn the guy, doesn't he understand that precious 9k was needed to cover his wage rise for that week?) The club only took £65,000 in gate money, so only made £11,000. Well, if we ignore merchandising revenue of course. Presumably money was made on my pint of lager and the programme I bought? Oh, and then there was sponsorship money, advertising revenue and the prize money for heroically negotiating our way over the mighty hurdle of Oxford United!

Sullivan is busy blaming the previous regime but there is, of course, the little matter of Parker's £70k per week salary. Who gave him that pay rise unnecessarily? Then, of course, there's Benni's £45k per week. Is that money well spent? Not so far for sure!

I see Sullivan is now going to give an interview to Iain Dale: I wonder what sort of searching questions will be on the agenda?

How about, "If we struggle to sell out Upton Park for a game against Chelsea, why are we considering moving to a stadium with a 60,000 capacity?" Or, "What would you expect to raise from the sale of the Boleyn Ground for redevelopment as residential flats?"

Or, "Why were Diamanti and Daprela given away?" Or, "Why didn't Parker sign that contract extension until after the transfer window closed?" Or, "What release clauses has Parker got in his new contract?" Or, "Given all the noise you made about Tottenham's approach for Parker, how comes we were negotiating to sign Robbie Keane on the last day of the window?" Or, "Why did the Keane deal fall through when Tottenham suddenly landed Van Der Vaart?" Or, "Had we sold Green, Behrami and Upson over the summer, as intended, would the funds have been available for team rebuilding?" Or, "When Behrami goes in January, will you guarantee that the funds will be reinvested in the team?"

Or, "You keep going on about our debt, so how comes we could afford to UP Parker's wages when he was still under contract anyway?" Or, "Given we are guaranteed £40million from TV revenue, and will generate a further £24,500,000 from gate receipts, and another £10million from merchandising, plus £5million from sponsorship and probably another £5million from incidentals (totalling £85million), is £100million of debt really such a massive problem? We can finance the debt comfortably enough can't we?" Or, "How much do you expect to personally pocket from owning West Ham over the next 5 years?"

I wonder if David Sullivan would like to be interviewed by me after Iain has asked his questions? Of course, if Iain steps up to the plate there won't be a need anyway. I have a question for Mr Dale, however. Will Sullivan be allowed to see and veto questions in advance of the interview? Will it be a soft soap sponge down as with The Grand Puppet Master, the smiling Joker Scotty "The club is safe in my hands" Duxbury? Let's hope Iain goes for the throat this time!