Monday 13 September 2010

Official Site goes into Overdrive


The Official Site has gone into overdrive: Captain's Rallying Cry, Optimistic Obinna, New Date for West Brom, Di Canio Lounge a hit, 10% discount off season tickets, Fulham is kids for a quid, Thousands Flock to Facebook, Limited Edition Memorabilia on sale...Blah, blah, blah. How about a headline reading "West Ham Lose Again" or "Avram AWOL (or otherwise) for Stoke Game" or "The Real Reason why Daprela was given away" or "Parker's Release Clauses Revealed"?

Why all these articles? Is this a new strategy to clutter up the boards, a way of trying to squeeze out the critical articles, an attempt to suffocate the truth? Throw a blanket over the boards and perhaps the punters will believe all is coming up claret and blue roses despite being at the bottom of the table and pointless after 4 games. Obinna is optimistic. Well that's alright then. Scotty is rallying the troops. No problems then! The Di Canio lounge is a success. Well, none of our rivals have a Di Canio lounge do they? Thousands Flock to Facebook. Gee whizz, Earth shattering stuff.

Wouldn't it be refreshing to read, "Parker says we are in the shit"? Or "Green accepts technical flaws in his game after another howler"? Or, "Our defence is hopeless says angry Avram". Duxbury developed the OS into the footballing equivalent of Pravda and Sullivan is running it in the same way, but with knobs on. How long before topless women in football shorts adorn every article with captions reading, "Lisa says, "Top 8 is a realistic target this season. With tits like this, how can we fail?"

Now Sullivan is following the Duxbury path by giving an interview to Tory back scratcher Iain Dale. More media management, more mood control. Hang on, here comes another headline..."Sexy Sarah says Rob Green has a great pair of hands!"

8 comments:

el martillo said...

Mr. Gold, having recieved a tablet through the post this morning telling him that West Ham would be better off without Avram this Saturday, has decided to go the whole hog and look to Jericho for inspiration. Cut price Vuvuzela's will be redirected from Sullivan's market stall to the claret and blue army who will be asked to summon the spirit of Joshua and "attend" the match from without. The expected collapse of the Stoke defence will allow Mark Noble to deposit the ball in the back of the onion bag. Three points... inspirational.
Pour me another cup of darjeeling would you Bertie!

Hammersfan said...

Good to have you back and on form!

Stani Army said...

...or why we have conceded 3 in every league game so far.

Headmaster said...

It seems as though, from the Chairman, through the manager and down to the official site the only strategy appears to be a deluge of indulgent positivity which totally lacks credibility or conviction.
I guess it would be too much to ask for total honesty, but a simple conveyance of a club quietly going about the business of putting in a decent shift in preparation for what already looks like a 6 pointer would be infinitely preferable. I for one am tired of the endless drivel spewed out by the OS. Who tf do they actually think they're kidding?

Hammersfan said...

99% of the fans 99% of the time sadly. Our lot believe what they want to believe and only want to hear positive things. I've long refered to The Three Monkey Brigade amongst our fan base. The Hear No Evil See No Evil Speak No Evil type of fans hate this site with a vengeance because I say it how I see it and not according to the Official Script. In Zola they trusted and in Duxbury they trusted too! Says it all!

Headmaster said...

Let's see if we can be positive now that Stoke have just snatched an injury time winner against a Villa side that battered them for long periods of the match!
We now support the only club in the entire league without a point - and may well do for a while longer yet.
Still, I'm sure the OS will find that we are 'up for the challenge' or some other meaningless cliche.

T.I.S said...

Oh dear, Stoke absoloutely murdered Villa in the last 20 mins of that game. We could get absolutely tortured!!!!

Anonymous said...

It is time to hear positive things, something like this may give the fans and the back four some confidence for the game “we are dropping green for the stoke game and maybe several more games after that maybe forever, we realize that his confidence has gone, but he is in fact affecting the confidence of the whole team , he will be sent of a basic training course to learn how to deal with free kicks , corners and general positional play . This is not a refresher course because he has never been able to cope with these situations , we will now try an blood in the younger generation “
Bye the Bye , he’s the reason for Sipping three a game