No more than 9 months after being robbed of victory against a full strength Chelsea side by a dubious penalty, West Ham stunned their fans today with a breathtaking display against Lampardless Chelsea, unluckily slipping to a 3-1 home defeat.
Fate was cruel to West Ham today. Green was his usual brilliant self and was so unlucky to find himself picking the ball out of the back of the net three times. The first goal was a total fluke, with Essien climbing on a West Ham defender before heading for goal. Somehow the ball evaded Green and Cole who both dived valiantly in an effort to save it. 1-0 down inside 2 minutes and fate had cruelly kicked the Hammers in the nuts. Once again, we had conceded from a corner. Once again a cross into our box had cost us a goal. How unlucky is that? Lucky, lucky Chelsea!
The second goal was even more cruel however. Drogba bent a free kick up and over the wall and Green fell forward, making a magnificent effort to hold the gently dipping shot. Sadly the backspin caused England's undisputed Number One to drop the ball - although this may have been a brilliantly quick release of the ball to Upson, in the hope of setting up a counter attack. If this was the case, fate intervened viciously, with Upson's attempted defence splitting pass from the edge of his own six yard box striking Kolou and rebounding into the net. Lucky, lucky Chelsea! What have West Ham done to offend God exactly?
Our bad luck didn't stop there though. Clean through on goal after a brilliant Cole pass, Obinna unluckily sliced wide from 8 yards out. Had that gone in, who knows what might have happened? Earlier Obinna had cruelly seen his first shot in Claret & Blue narrowly miss the corner flag and go for a throw. A brilliant Cole goal was then struck out for offside. It was so marginally offside that the goal should surely have been given.
Then in the second half, Chelsea enjoyed another massive slice of luck when Ilunga found himself treading water in a huge puddle and so unable to travel faster than a jog to close down a cross from the left. Poor Ben Haim then found himself trapped in a pot hole, enabling Essien to climb above him and head home. Unluckiest of all, however, was once again Rob Green. He so nearly came for that cross but, at the last moment decided against it. No doubt his recent surgery was the reason behind his decision to retreat to his line.
Then came the best moment of the game, a truly brilliant goal from Super Super Scotty Parker. What a lob! What a goal! If only that had gone in earlier in the game. Had we scored first, it would have been a different game, no question. Typically lucky Chelsea to score three fluky goals before we scored one brilliant one!
Then more Chelsea luck, a brilliant Obinna cross met superbly by Piquionne's head, but being just two feet off the line, with an empty net gaping, he couldn't get the ball down in time so he cruelly headed it against the bar. Had that gone in, we would have gone on to win 4-3, no question.
A brilliant performance all round with scant reward for the players' outstanding efforts. Green for England! Cole for England! Parker for England! Upson for England! Noble for England! Dyer for England! Behrami for Switzerland! Obinna for Nigeria! Jacobsen for Denmark! Boa for Portugal! Ilunga for Africa! Ben Haim for Palestine!...
(Match Report supplied by Lee Vitout)
Player Ratings:
Green 10: Jacobsen 10, Ben Haim 10 Upson 10, Ilunga 10; Behrami 10, Noble 10, Parker 100, Boa-Morte 10; Cole 10, Obinna 10 Subs Dyer 10, Piquionne 10
17 comments:
wht r u blind??green undisputed no one??? hes rite up der wid almunia fr da wrst keepers dis season...
Bright lad aint ya wulf?
Love it!
thats the best match report from you ever much better than all that silly complaining isn't life much better now that you have a positive outlook
"What have West Ham done to offend God exactly?"
Zionist manager and porn barons as owners...not much then :)
Now, now Stanni, let's leave Allah out of this. I'm not sure our One is opposed to Zionists, he gave the tribes of Israel all the land to the west of the Jordan according to a certain book available in all good book shops outside of Mecca. And given the way all the women squeal "Oh God" in those movies, I'm not so sure he is 100% opposed to Porn Barons either.
HF what is it with you. you seem to get some satisfaction from us losing all the time. why dont you fcuk off and support the the spuds ffs you prick. fcuking hate you. you cnut.
Charming! I didn't pick the team, decide the tactics or play in goal. This is a positive report, which is what I thought you guys wanted!
no but you seem to like rubbing it in you prick every time we lose..
What should I write?
HF, for what it's worth I thought that your piece was laugh out loud funny as it goes. I am quite sure that there are many West Ham fans who, whilst retaining optimism and hope, get a tad pissed off with reading blog forums that say how marvellous we were! We are bottom and pointless and all is far from well. Wake up people.
I imagine it was just such a site that may have inspired your article.
It was insults on the back of my Groundhog Day report actually. Thanks.
"Our One" HF? See there's your mistake right there. There is only One HF, there can only be One, by definition.
Admit it, we are doomed! :)
Double D doesn't stand for David and David, it stands for divine damnation :)
Actually, we did play some good stuff today though. Jacobsen looked useful even though you did diss him a bit. He will do his job quietly for the rest of the season without worry. Looks experienced also, the way he was pointing around...Neill style. It's a shame we didn't spend more time fixing our defence in the window though as I was highlighting otherwise we would have some points by now.
We need Boffin (better than Green), Da Costa, Gabbidon in; Green, Noble, Upson, Ben Haim out and we will stay up. Obinna looks very good and he is still young. So, something promising at least.
You saw today why I said we wasted money on Piquionne and Ben Haim. Crazy wages and in Piquionne's case, a crazy contract.
the irony is that your opinion is as unrealisticly negative as this is insanely positive. how about focusing on reality, its somewhere in the middle.
read them both back and you will find they are polor oposites of each other and use that intelegence of yours to realise that your negative outlook is as unrealistic as this positive piss take. we didn't win, we have played bad this season and most of last. the reasons are varied but short of a magic wand theres not much, me, you or any fan can do. what we can do is show our support in the clubs hour of need. but people boo and people spread negativity, some justified, some over the top but as fans how can we complain when we are part of the problem. bitching, moaning, booing, some are even in denial and we turn on our own, our own fans, players and manager. do we deserve to stay up when 19 other sets of fans get behind their team, look at newcastle fans, they have been to hell and back, if any team are in a similar position to us its them, look at their fans. im on the verge of giving up, there seems like no hope.
there more fans get on the teams back the worse things become and i don't know any team that slate their own than us. yes the players should man up and manager make basic selection changes. but we cant control that. football is all about confidence and well we suck that out of our players until it becomes impossible to perform and then complain more because they arn't performing and its a vicious cycle. a cycle that you help perpetuate, yes i have an opinion just like you. most of it is fact, like it or not. its easy to complain, far harder to try
An interesting reply 0223. This report is, of course, insanely positive because it is a piss take. See this morning's article for a reply to you (in part).
"so he cruelly headed it against the bar"
Probably the worst bit fwriting Ive ever encountered.
Apart from your own you mean? What are you talking about, the grammar, the selection of words or the sentiment?
Post a Comment