Saturday, 11 September 2010

Half Time Report West Ham 0 Chelsea 2 Groundhog Day!

Once I met a girl. We had piña coladas in a bar overlooking the beach until the sun went down and then made love in the surf. Why couldn't I have THAT day over and over and over?

Instead I was born a West Ham fan, born to a life of dreams dead at conception! Season after season, manager after manager, game after game, the same old story, repeating itself over and over and over and over. No sex on the beach with a woman in fishnets, just a complete c*** picking the ball out of our net after yet another dreadful, dreadful, dreadful error. In fact, this one was worse than his mistake against Villa. It was worse even than his mistake against Bolton last season. It was even worse than his mistake at home to Bolton two seasons ago. In fact, it even surpassed his cock up against the USA. This Green howler was epically comic - and Upson joined in to ensure that it will feature for ever in those 100 Hilarious Moments videos that pad out Christmas stockings!

The first goal was almost as bad. Essien jumped, unchallenged, with his marker apparently chained to the ground (Illunga? Boa? Obinna? I'm not sure) and his header was catch able height and well inside the post. Green and Cole dived like two Pakistani slip fielders who have taken a bung to lose the game, and the ball ended up in the net. Pathetic. And this was before the game was two minutes old! Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Is Jacobsen playing? Chelsea are coming down our right flank time and time and time again. What is Boa offering to the team? Nothing from what I can see. What about Behrami? Usual - running around, falling over, tripping opponents. Parker? Loads of sideways passes and overhit forward passes and the usual booking for diving in needlessly just past the half way line. Upson? Useless. At fault for the second goal and did his best to hand another on the plate with an incredibly unfocused pass.

Up front, Cole has had one disallowed and played a beautiful pass in for Obinna who missed the target completely with only Cech to beat! Obinna looks like another piquionne and Cole. Good in the approach but can't hit a barn door from 5 yards. One shot went out for a throw in!

Second half coming up. How many with Chelsea notch?

6 comments:

Jake Latimer said...

That's it...

No more proper West Ham for me anymore until these owners leave.

If we get relegated + they leave then I'll be back. I'm fed up of delusional, thick fans that look at them as some sort of messiahs when they do nothing but make us a public laughing stock.

The Olympic Stadium move, if that does happen, then it's bye-bye completely from me.

Stani Army said...

Spot on Jake.

I was saying it from the beginning but it seems everyone who was insulting me then have all disappeared.

Stani Army said...

I just heard Noble's name being mentioned on commentary.

Piquionne! You could have scored from there HF!

Ben Haim goes to sleep again.

Kareem said...

I just love getting attacked on Westhamfans.org

fred149 said...

wel lnext step play like that week in week out and we mite get a win

T.I.S said...

lol Why do people keep blaming the owners? I still think we aren't far away from being a very good team, just the damn defence needs sorting out.