Beware the Law of the Ex: Bullard returning home, and Bowyer is back too.

Two of football's bad boys may line up for Ipswich tonight against former employers West Ham. Bullard never really got a break at Upton Park, never kicking a ball in anger for the club. For a few seasons, he looked the real McCoy at Wigan and Fulham and even made it into the England squad, so it was unquestionably a serious error to let him go for nothing whilst still a kid. If he starts, we will have to take care not to concede free kicks in shooting range of goal.

Bowyer is a different kettle of shit. I never wanted him at the club in the first place after the incident involving Woodgate and an Asian, but strangely I was disappointed when he was shown the door by Zola. It seemed to me that Bowyer offered what was so obviously lacking at the time, and lacking still, goals from midfield. Want a reminder of Bowyer's importance, then think back to the League Cup semifinal last year, and indeed to the final against Arsenal when he was robbed of the most nailed on penalty I have ever seen not given in my life!

It would be a real choker if either Bullard or Bowyer were to score tonight and rob us of points. But the Law of the ex says...well these days that intimate videos will, sooner or later, be posted on the Internet. And who would be surprised if a video suddenly appeared with Bullard and Bowyer teaming up in the bedroom? Do we know yet why Jimmy was shown the door by Hull City?