Monday 19 September 2011

Suggestions for New Stadium Name Requested

Katie Downs Glamour Girls, including Katie Downs, pictured posing in sexy underwear for the cameras at the launch of the second flagship store for Ann Summers in London.
The club have rushed out a statement denying rumours that the OS will be rebranded the Ann Summers Stadium after our move there. What a bloody shame! It would have been great to see all the female staff dressed in Ann Summers lingerie in the middle of winter, their faces claret and their extremities blue.

The name was obviously a joke but some newspapers mischievously ran with the story regardless. As if Sullivan and Gold would sanction such a tacky name for the new super arena! No, the Dildo Brothers are sure to go with a much classier name.

Any suggestions? How about Dildo Mansions? Or The Theatre of Wet Dreams? Or The Water Sports Arena? Or Cock Up Park?

Who knows, they might show some respect and name it the Bobby Moore Arena or the New Boleyn Ground. Yeah and pigs might fly!

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

What we need is a permanent home.One that nobody can kick us out of no matter how low we sink.
A home we can be proud of no matter how other people despise us.
Somewhere that even Millwall or Spurs supporters would feel proud to visit.
I know!!
We can call it Dale Farm.

John V P

jimwhu said...

hf that was a very funny article lol but who gives a fcuk what its called as long as we get enough dough for it

Hammersfan said...

Dale Farm? We would all have to go in through the back door!

Elf72 (tony) said...

The Moon Bowl - named after the lack of atmosphere?

Mile High Stadium - a bit racy and a mile from the pitch

Hammersfan said...

LOL Very good Tony. Named after that great East End hero Alfie Moon!

el martillo said...

The E.M. Forster stadium... Plenty of room, not much of a view.

Hammersfan said...

LOL Brilliant Marty!

Anonymous said...

Nice thought Tony, but you're forgetting one thing:

"Mr Moon has left the stadium!"


John V P

el martillo said...

Who the hell's Alfie Moon? Surely it should be the Keith Moon stadium... I can see for miles and miles.

Seriously though; it's got to be the Scott Parker Stadium hasn't it? I mean the guy's Mr. West Ham, claret and blue through and through!

Anonymous said...

Very good Marty!
But why not now!
The walk from my car up Green Street is like a passage to India!

John V P

Hammersfan said...

LOL Damn you John, I was trying to come up with one for APTI!

On form today Marty!

el martillo said...

Careful with the E.M. Forster references chaps or it could end up being Dale Farm after all!

Hammersfan said...

LOL Webb had better watch out. Nothing like a bit of Howard's End!

Martillo said...

The Bowl In Ground?
Upturned Park?

Anonymous said...

Thank you West Ham for Scott Parker - he is very great!

Anonymous said...

knowing the dildo boys they might name it after themselves. Imagine going to Sullivan and Gold stadium, or even worse Brady Stadium!!!!

-BM

Sav said...

ESPN Soccernet has a table of players in the Championship with the most assists. Guess who is on top? Matt Taylor. Noble is nowhere to be found of course.

This is why I made the comment that I was surprised that Sam took out Taylor and Lansbury when we badly needed to score a goal.

Hammersfan said...

Sav, I'm surprised at you. Of course Taylor will have lots of assists in comparison with Noble. Taylor is now our set piece taker and Plays wide on the left in a 4-3-3 formation / 4-5-1. It is his job to assist. Noble is being played as the anchor.

Stani said...

Why didn't Noble assist as much when he had that job HF?

Sav said...

Yes HF, but you don't take off the best assist maker in the Championship when you badly need to score a goal! That's what I don't get with Sam's thinking.

Hammersfan said...

But Taylor was playing poorly Sav. Bentley was used to replace Taylor, not Noble. You may question that decision but it seemed reasonable to me given Bentley is supposed to be a dead ball specialist like Taylor and, to be fair, had the best chance of the game. He missed it, but he was closer to scoring than Taylor had been all game. Baldock, meanwhile, replaced Lansbury, a very positive move as it was striker for midfielder. I'm not surprised, in view of what happened against Pompey and Leeds that Sam felt the need of ONE more defensively minded midfielder given a move to 4-4-2. Had he thrown caution to the wind and we had conceded a late goal to lose the game, you would have gone mad, and quite rightly. 0-0 wasn't a terrible result.

Stupid question Stani. Noble was playing in the Prem! And anyway, Noble has NEVER played wide on the left in a 4-3-3 formation.

Stani said...

I tell you what's stupid HF....you're basically implying that Noble is at worst, as good as Taylor. Ludicrous!

Sav said...

When you need to score a goal you probably need a good assist maker more than you need a goal scorer. That is the point I am making. Anyone can push the ball into an empty net if you get someone like Messi or Iniesta to put it at your feet in front of goal. Very often the problem at West Ham (especially after we lost Benayoun and we were never able to replace him) is not having enough creative midfield players. It is not so much a striker problem. No striker can score if there is nothing to finish.

Hammersfan said...

That is why, when Taylor was playing badly, he was replaced by Bentley Sav. Like for like, fair swap. Baldock for Lansbury was forward for midfielder and change to 4=4=2 as I said. Positive substitutions which was exactly what the situation called for.

Hammersfan said...

Did I say that? Taylor is much better than Noble wide on the left, but Allardyce did not use Noble wide on the left did he, he replaced him with Bentley who has played wide left for England! Who would be stupid enough to play Noble wide on the left? Oh yes, Zola did it!

Sav said...

Good point Stani! You hit the nail on the head. I just don't get it why some people don't want to see reality regarding Noble. Like the one who kept insisting that Noble made the assist to Carlton Cole when it was Matt Taylor. I am not talking about tactics. The point is HF, Taylor has got quality, Noble is an accident waiting to happen.

Hammersfan said...

Taylor has so much quality that he has spent his career at Portsmouth and Bolton and he couldn't get in the Bolton team towards the end. Dear God, people get carried away! Taylor delivers a wicked free kick but his corners have been ordinary so far this season and, as well as he has played, he hasn't looked like Messi! You may not be talking tactics but that is daft. Why not take off a centre half and send on Bentley then? Or take off Green and send on Bentley? Noble doesn't come into the discussion because Allardyce CHOSE a like for like replacement, Bentley for Taylor who was struggling. He then tried a forward for a midfielder whilst electing to retain his holding midfielder. Sound tactical decisions.