Thursday, 1 September 2011

Police Called to Upton Park to Enforce Eviction Order.

Police, fans and team mates alike were all in a state of shock last night as the services of the local constabulary were needed to enforce Scott Parker's departure from the building.With the club agreeing a deal with hated rivals Tottenham Hotspurs on the final day of the transfer window, West Ham legend Parker refused to leave, and who is surprised?

Tottenham is the last destination that poor old Mr Claret & Blue, the Hammer hero who would run into brick walls, down blind alleys and round in circles for the cause, would have entertained. This is the man who was voted Hammer of the Year for three years in succession. This is the man who signed a contract extension last August, paying a paltry £83,000 per week when a much mooted move to Spurs crumbled into so much dust. This is the man who gave 110% every game, not because that is his style of play but because he was so dedicated to the club and its fans. This is the man who West Ham supporters have idolised and put on a pedestal with the all times greats, the Moores, the Hursts, the Bonds's and the Brookings. How could such a Hammer hero even contemplate a move to the enemy at the very Northern door?

But poor Scotty was betrayed, forced by Doctor Evil and the Doomsday Brothers to join the club his recently deceased father supported, forced to return again to the heady heights of the Premiership, forced to move for a fee fully £4m less than West Ham were offered last month by another club.

Scotty is gone but he is not and never will be forgotten. Surely a corner of the bowl shaped Olympic Stadium will now be named after this legend of West Ham United. Why not the cash machine in the foyer perhaps? The Scott Parker Cash Dispenser has a fitting ring to it for some perverse reason!

We do not blame him. He gave 110% every time he played. He led us with passion, with verve, with conviction, and to relegation. We wish him well and all hope him every success at Tottenham Hotspurs.

Don't we?


Anonymous said...

Nope fcuk him now he has left

Anonymous said...

Kevin in Manchester writes...

Hey Effendi, welcome back. Is this your final Parker diatribe? They are still amusing but close to jumping the shark for me.

What about the transfer window business? The proof of the pudding etc but have we ever had such a busy one? Sam's bought a whole new team with subs ( minus the keeper).

I think we start this season with a better squad than the previous two and we paid out less than we received.

Sorry to see Stanislas go though - a young player ruined by his elevation at time when we had the two worst managers ever .. not sure his confidence will ever recover.Perhaps he needed the fresh start.

Hammersfan said...

LOL Hi mate. Well I couldn't resist with Parker could I? This has been coming for 18 months and, as you know, I was desperate for him to go. Whilst in Egypt, I negotiated a deal for 200 camels and my wife thrown in had Spurs not stumped up the cash! I'm still trying to take in all that has happened whilst I was hunting down Mido.

The curse, it seems has been lifted!

Johntan said...

I don't see any reason to now hate the guy but I just never really rated him that highly in the first place. The fact that people are caling him a legend is a discgrace and is actually a mockery of our club. He spent 3 decent seasons here not great not terrible just decent. People will say you don't get hammer of the year 3 seasons in a row for nothing but to be fair I think Dorris the tea lady probably got runner up for those three seasons. People will also tell me he got writers player of the year. Well yes he did but was he the best player in the PL last season? No he wasn't, not in my opinion anyway. I think it was a very romanticised gesture from the writers association to give it to the captain who fought so hard against adversity when all others seemed to have given up, who gave ralying speaches to bring his troops back from the brink of humiliation, and who could have jumped ship in January or the summer before but didnt because he was a captain of such integrity that he was going to go down with the ship. All valid points I guess but that doesn't make him a particularly great player. So all in all I'm fairly pleased that we have gotten him off the books and I wish him every success in the rest of his career.

John said...

Evidently the D's and 'Big Sam' pleaded with him to stay, but he wouldn't. They compromised by offering him on a years loan deal to Spurs but this was still not good enough.He then put in a transfer request.So you are correct he bore absolutely no allegiance to West Ham whatsoever, but he did try to earn the £70,000 a week or whatever he was being paid which a lot of the other team members were not doing, and it this, his effort, that made him stand out, not his brilliant football ability. Personally I can only see him being very average at Spurs.
The way the team and especially the mid field played against Notts on Sunday without him, was very pleasing. The midfield as a whole took on responsibility that appeared to be lacking when Parker was present. Nobel and Collinson both played exceptionally well. With the new signings I don't think he will be missed at all.

Mutley 71 said...

John's argument that Parker got player of the year because ofthe fact he was captain..... Can someone quietly whisper in his ear please.

Anonymous said...

No loyalty in football. Parker does not care about West Ham just himself. Is that shocking? Shouldn't be.

I also think we should have sold him when he really had some value last year and bought some better players for the team.

Still I'm optimistic with Fat Sam in charge there will be promotion followed by mid table obscurity for many seasons to come. Happy days ahead.

USA Dave said...

I for one dont believe for one second that Sam pleaded with him to stay. I will bet anything he was praying Parker would be sold. He bought Nolan with the idea Parker would leave. When he was still around, he had to play him even though it may not have been the best choice for a starting 11. Have we looked so balanced as we did against NF in the past few seasons? I dont think so.

Sam had to do the PR thing by stating he hoped he could retain Parker. The loan thing you speak of HF surprises the hell out of me. Are you certain?

This may seem heretical (spelling?) to some, but I think we are far better on the pitch now than yesterday.

Anonymous said...

Final Parker Diatribe???!! hahaha we should be so lucky.

Johntan said...

Mutley, I realise he wasnt captain. I was coming from the view of the writers association. How many times did the newspapers run the headline ''Captain fantastic'' when writing a match report on West Ham in relation to Scott Parker? everytime we won (which wasn't alot admittedly).

Anonymous said...

This HF - Parker love in is pathetic.

HF purposely goes against the grain to pretend he has some kind of special insight into football that us normal fans are missing.

The only thing that is missing is an idiot from a Village.

Hammersfan said...

The village idiot has arrived. This article was so obviously tongue in cheek but you still didn't realise!