Monday, 26 September 2011

The Big Fat Allardyce West Ham Love In

Ah, Doctor Evil has suddenly come over all mushy. Never mind recent results - Uncle Sammy focuses on the four goals scored at Forest and Watford anyway - what matters is that the players have bonded socially and enjoy each other's company apparently!

True the team hasn't gelled, but no matter, the buzz word for this week is bonding. It's all beginning to sound like an Arts and Crafts National Childbirth Trust get together isn't it?

Sam the New Man reveals: "The players have built a very good dressing room very quickly, down to firstly the captain and then the rest of the players joining in and building a unity between them that's a good bond, so that they can communicate with each other on a day to day basis and enjoy their own company." How sweet!

It's so good to know that Captain Kev is focusing on bedding in the new arrivals rather than on his own performances on the pitch. Not scoring Kev? Never mind, have a chat with Henri about the problems he is having with his girlfriend will you? And explain to him how the girlies can be a bit tetchy at times. And I'm sure Matty would like a nice cup of  Earl Grey and some advice on home furnishings. And do share your recipe for Thai Green Curry with David. The boy is really struggling in the cooking department. Once that is sorted out, we might start looking at his finishing and crossing.

How they must be chattering in the dressing room! Can you believe the price of a loaf of bread? And butter! I remember when you could buy a pat for under a pound, now it is, what, £1.40! And did you see Scotty's haircut on Match of the Day? That is SOOOOOO last year!

Now then boys, in a circle, lotus positions, Ummmmm, Ummmmmm, Ummmmmmm. Feel those pelvic floors and deep breaths!


Jibbles said...

I can't remember the last time I saw a West Ham side that looked like they gelled off the pitch as well as on it. There is a lot to be said for team spirit. If you feel like you are letting your mates down with poor results, you soon up your game. I'm all for a bit of team bonding. As long as it's not too friendly in the showers after the game!

cOOL cOL said...

Is there actually anything at all that you like about West Ham HF, I seriously can't remember the last time you posted anything positive about the team, manager or the club. I just wish you would f off and support Man Utd because you clearly never ever SUPPORT WEst Ham. You are an absolute disgrace to our club so please, go away and support someone you might like.

At the end of the season, I am going to take great delight in telling you how wrong a what an utter c word you are when we finish top with the most points ever and the most goals scored.


Hammersfan said...

LOL And if we don't?

Anonymous said...

kevin in manchester writes

Building a team spirit is vital. It's long time since we had one. I think you are being harsh on Sam; he's bossed eight games in anger ;imported a whole load of players during that process and we won three away games on the bounce and scored four goals in three consecutive games- no matter what division and whoever you are playing that's a decent run. we have a balanced squad with cover for the first time in a decade. The nature of the championship is that anyone can and does beat anyone; it's what makes it a much better sporting competition than the PL. I dont mind your forensic digging for negatives-it's all part of healthy debate but until and unless we start dropping points all over the place I'd cut him some slack and give praise for what he has done- welded something like a functioning team together.

Anonymous said...

At least here is a man every West Ham fan can support

Anonymous said...

cOOL cOL - you are of course right..... I can't find anything positive. I've gone back to the beginning of September and there's nothing.

Hammersfan said...

How about "A smashing window"? Did you miss that one 2034?

the headmaster said...

After the Israeli undertaker, I may not be happy with the style of the football, but I do at least sense players playing for each other and for their manager, HF.

Hammersfan said...

Of course team spirit is important Kevin but not as important as performance on the pitch. It feels to me that Sam is trying to justify Nolan's place in the team based on his leadership off it. We don't want a mother hen, we want a warrior!

Allardyce would do better to say in public that he expects more from Nolan on the pitch. He knows the natives are getting restless about Captain Kev and he is trying to paper over the cracks, covering his favourite's arse.

Faubert wasn't happy when he was taken off on Saturday and many feel that Nolan's contribution was negligable. Team spirit will not be enhanced if the players feel that a player is fireproof when it comes to criticism. We saw that with Parker and it undermined the sense of togetherness!

Hammersfan said...

HM, I felt the team were playing for Grant, they were simply not good enough. As I keep pointing out, Grant had a 100% record against Championship teams. Would this mob look too "together" if they came up against a rampant Man Utd, tearing them to shreds?

Do you remember the battling performance against Man City? How about the spirited fight against Man Utd at Upton Park? What about the victory over Liverpool? Or the thumping of Stoke? Or the draw at Tottenham? The team was trying, they were just crap.

0-1 against Cardiff, 2-2 against Leeds, 0-0 against Millwall, 1-0 against Posh and the struggle to beat Pompey suggests we are still pretty crap! Would this mob take 4 points out of 6 off of Tottenham? Somehow I doubt it!

People keep missing the context of Championship opposition!

Glen Roberts said...

I don't normally agree with anything HF says, in fact he's far too pessimistic at a time when there there is a rare glimpse of optimism at Upton Park. However, from the games I've seen live this season (most) and after the display against Peterborough I have asked myself one question: What is the point of Kevin Nolan?

DG has come out and said he's the best leader of men he's seen in 20 years (who was that man 20 years ago!?) but on the pitch, especially after Peterborough, I'm not sure what role he is supposed to be performing within the team.

He doesn't seem to have much pace, he can't tackle and the only concrete passing I've seen from him is simple 5 - 10 yard lay offs. From what has been said in the media, and I confess of not knowing to much about him prior to him signing for the Hammers, he was supposed to be the dogs... I must say that I am disappointed.

My glimpse of optimism here is that he is not fully fit (clutching at straws), hence the under par performances.

I think Noble is the only CM that can put it about and tackle, Lansbury appears to be our best option in CM for going forward. With that in mind, I would like to see a 442 when the teams roll out at Upton Park on Tuesday night, Baldock to given a much needed start along side Cole (excellent start to the season) or Carew (looked a different player Saturday to the one last time out) with the previously mentioned CMs. The rest of the team almost picks itself at the moment.

What's the chance of BFS dropping his top man due to lack of form and showing the fans that HE is the boss? Noble for the arm band anyone?

That way Kev can concentrate on organising next week's paint balling session in Thurrock, the only thing that people seem to be waxing lyrical about at the moment!

Hammersfan said...

Spot on Glen but it aint going to happen. Like Parker before him, Nolan is an "untouchable"; and like Parker before him, he is getting in the way of picking a team to match the strengths of the other players. I might try Nolan up top alongside Baldock actually, dropping into the hole to bemuse dumb arse Championship defenders. My team for tomorrow would read:


O'Brien, Faye, Tomkins, Taylor


Bentley, Collison, Lansbury

Nolan, Baldock

Anonymous said...

Team spirit breeds perfomance HF, just doesn't happen after a few games. Be patient and all will be revealed.

Glen Roberts said...

Like I said previously, I can't see the point of Nolan. My IDEAL team would be:

O'Brien - Faye - Tomkins - Linda

JF/Bentley - Noble - Lansbury - Taylor

Baldcock - Cole/Carew

Please keep in mind that I think Carlton has made a good start to the season but if he is struggling because of a cold give him a game off before the Palace game.

It maybe slightly Gungho in terms off changing a winning team but the performances at UP need to change to keep the fans on side.

Just for clarity, I believe WE should achieve achieve automatic promotion this season. In BFS I trust!!!

66 said...

For someone that has his own West Ham blog and has an opinion on all things about our club tell me why is it that you never go? Money is no problem as over the years on West Ham Fans you told all that would listen how well you have done financially so why it is that you don’t put your hand in your pocket to see the club you claim to love?
With not actually going and now unable to view your streams where do you get your superior knowledge from?

Hammersfan said...

I do go when I can. Not local. Otherwise I would go to every home game.

Anonymous said...

team unity is very important, its just one of the steps that will need to be taken to turn us back into a prem club aswell as making us hard to beat and grinding out results when we dont play well. all of this big sam has started to do but you still complain. im starting to think its a millwall fan writing these posts!

66 said...

When was the last time you went? Not local so you follow the team away do you?

Hammersfan said...

For your information, I have a ticket for the Reading away game and am going to Pompey and Southampton games. I was going to the Brighton match until they moved it to the Monday night. I would have been at the Palace game too but unfortunately I have other commitments. Not that I have to account for myself 66.