Friday 19 March 2010

The Shirt Of Hurt For West Ham Fans


Radio 5 presenters were wearing their "shirts of hurt" for Sports Relief today. For Nicky Campbell it was the England World Cup Winners shirt (in rugby), whilst Peter Allen was no doubt in an Arsenal shirt. For Tottenham fans, it would be Arsenal, for Millwall fans, the Claret and Blue presumably, for Everton fans the Red of Liverpool, for Liverpool and Leeds fans, Manchester United's colours, and so on. But for Hammers fans it's not so straight forward because there are so many contenders.

Many would argue for Millwall of course, but why should we worry about a Third Division club? Why give them the status or kudos? When was the last time they beat us on a football pitch? Too long ago now to worry about. Green Street fans might believe the Hollywood nonsense but true Hammers regard Millwall as a minor irritant, like a buzzing blue bottle in the bedroom at nine a.m. on a Sunday morning.

If not Millwall, then perhaps Tottenham? They stole Peters, Paul Allen, Kanoute and Carrick off us, amongst others. Even when they give us a ten point start, they still manage to finish above us in the table and have this annoying habit of winning a trophy every five or six years. But Tottenham hold us in the same contempt as we hold Millwall - their rivals are Arsenal so why would we give them the dignity of being our "shirt of hurt".

How about Shafting United? But what's £25m between friends? Why hate a club because of the incompetence of Duxbury?

Well Bolton then? Because of them, we were relegated with the highest points total ever accrued by a relegated team. Because of them, we lost the golden generation earlier than we would have done. They took six points off us again this season and knocked us out of the League Cup. As bogey teams go, they are green and snotty. But can you really hate a team of northern journeymen who live under the shadow of Blackburn, never mind the Manchester teams or Liverpool.

Then what about Liverpool? They cheated us out of the FA Cup and pipped us to the title in our best ever season. They stole Benayoun from us and Ince played for them too. But listen to their whiney voices and you have to feel sorry for them.

We can make a case for Leeds (the signing of Rio started our demise), or Fat Frank's Chelsea shirt, or the Iceland national team shirt or a Poland shirt, remembering back to Katowice and Bobby Moore's ignominious error, or the Everton shirt because they always beat us or...

The truth is, there is only one Shirt of Hurt we can wear - our own Claret and Blue because being a Hammers fan is one long tale of protracted misery!

20 comments:

hammalot said...

Id go for Chelsea personally. If not for Abramovich maybe a bunch of these other foreign owners wouldnt have come in and leeched off English football. This of course has hit us harder than most.

Plus they are ruining Joe Cole's career.

Anonymous said...

always proud to wear the claret & blue

Stani Army said...

I don't think all foreign owners are bad. The bad ones are bad because that's how they are, not because they're foreign. Some foreign owners (just like the players) have brought good things to the league.

I think if we asked Leeds or Newcastle fans who they'd want out of Peter Ridsdale/Mike Ashley and Randy Lerner, they'd choose Lerner.

Unfortunately, because the Prem is the richest league in the world, it attracts bad boys from around the world who want an easy way to make their dirty money clean.

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Deane said...

as an African I'd be pleased to wear a dress while I kick some racist arse

T.I.S said...

Nice article, I too would go for our own shirt, and that's why i love the club....as long as there are very brief glimpses of glory and the occasional suprise draw against Aston Villa and the sort.

Agree about the African dress statement, would be a bastard to pick the right shoes for and frankly, might look a bit silly.

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Anonymous said...

West Ham Colours for me = always proud - shame you don't think the same way Fanno

I have you down as a glory hunter myself - why don't you give ManUre a go for the whole of next season?

Failing that there's always the spuds - top four and all that - mind you they probably don't do mini season tickets

See how it feels, you might just enjoy it

Anonymous said...

It's an inferiority complex.... you have an overwhelming need to feel superior on this board - which is why you spout such utter tosh and crap - the reason behind it all is because you feel bad about yourself in the real world - which is why smugness in the virtual word is so appealing for a no mark like yourself.

Simple really you smug mug!

Hammersfan said...

LOL I am much smugger in real life!

1208, you are right. It is because I am a glory hunter that I have supported West Ham for 40 plus years. How I have enjoyed the glory over those years since we won the World Cup! "40 years of hurt, Jules Rimet still gleaming." I'm so vain, I probably think that song is about me!

Anonymous said...

1235 and smug about what exactly? your overwhelming success in life? because from where I'm sitting the one thing that shines out through your scribblings is that you're a complete and utter loser of the highest order.

Anonymous said...

Arsenal have only won one and lost two of the last four home matches against the Hammers.

Can you turn that in to a negative fanno? bet you can

Hammersfan said...

1344, yep smug about my life. Own four properties, financially secure, daughter at university, son doing well at school, everything I have, I have earned coming from a working class family, can holiday where I choose, buy pretty much what I want, and I have the power to irritate people like yourself immensely! If only I had been born the son of a Manchester United fan and raised to support them, life would be pretty hunky dory!

Hammersfan said...

1354 easy! Do we expect a result today? No. Why? Because we have gone so far backwards over the last 12 months.

Hammersfan said...

Are we about to add Hull City to that list?

Anonymous said...

I genuinely can't believe that the comment posted above by HF at 15.30 has been posted by an adult, a grown man.

It's such a ridiculous way to view life and even more ridiculous to write it in a blog to be smug about.

Fair play, if true, you have a decent and average lifestyle but no better or worse than most. My life and financial status compares with yours and is possibly better but it's hardly a game of Trumps is it and it's certainly not how I choose to gauge my worth or that of others.

You often patronise contributors on this blog about a lack of education or knowledge. You seem to have both which is great but you clearly lack equally important qualities such a humility or class.

I know that you get a lot of stick on here but why someone who quite clearly has a brain would lower himself to such childish nonsense is beyond me.

Try engaging with your aggressors and showing some humility and you might even find a few allies.

Hammersfan said...

I tried humility but everybody said I was too perfect to be humble.