Wednesday 10 March 2010

WHUTV - It's got everything you could possibly want!


How can anybody resist the temptation of subscribing to WHUTV?

Want to share in the glory? Turn to the WHUTV History Channel! Tune in to channels 1980, 1975, 1966, 1965 or 1964.

Enjoy horror? Well we have just recruited Hitchcock and the Bolton game has been billed as Nightmare on Green Street.

Fancy some Shakespeare? Parker does King Lear - "We are a team more sinned against than sinning" whilst fans howl, "Beware the Ides of March!"

Tune in to the WHUTV Cookery Channel to find Mido eating all the kebabs and Noble all the pies and mash.

Fancy an episode of Casualty? Dyer has two complete series dedicated to himself.

Enjoy Neighbours? Well you can watch Arsenal and Chelsea progress in the Champions League, Fulham compete in Europe and Tottenham push for a top 4 finish. Sadly Eastenders isn't showing. All the star performers have been allowed to leave!

Want Loose Women? Easy! Here come the Essex girls!

Wife Swap? Sorry Pardew has gone, you will need to tune into Chelsea TV for that.

Cash in the Attic? Sullivan and Gold auction the entire squad in July!

Homes Under The Hammer? Parker, Green, Upson, Behrami and Diamanti all look for a bargain in the auction rooms of Manchester, Liverpool and West and North London.

Wish You Were Here has a guest presenter every week - Rio, Joe Cole, Defoe, Johnson, Carrick, Lampard, Collins...

And after 11pm, courtesy of Sullivan & Gold, the channel transforms into Red Hot Dutch featuring the steamy triple header "Going Down Going Down Going Down"!

It's all sponsored by Ocean Finance of course!

Have I missed any?

12 comments:

el martillo said...

Absolute quality - back to your best!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Wow! great stuff, one of the best blogs on the planet. Would be number 1 if we could get rid of the immature people who respond with their foul disgusting language. Up the hammers.

Stani Army said...

Brilliant stuff. Cue the haters....

T.I.S said...

Beat the Baliffs - Matthew Etherington.

Ever noticed that if you take the E of the front of his name and put it on the end you get 'the ring tone'

hammalot said...

well done

Savvakis said...

Why is Zola still there? Anyone could pick a better team and motivate it better than him. I suggest we allow the janitor pick up the team this week or even better let's pick the team at random. Do a lottery and pick eleven players. This way we may get rid of the prospect of having Tomkins in the centre of the defence and Franco leading the attack.

TurdOut said...

300,000 visitors and only 12 followers is it me or is that a rahter small ratio?

Winston said...

Yes, agree with 23:46 By the way HF, my boss had a bit of whinge at my job performance at work. He seemed unhappy. He was making things a bit difficult even though i really wasn't up to scratch. I told a whole heap of people. Had to go down to jobsearch today as he sacked me. Looking back, i probably should have just got on with it, but ah well, i guess that's the way it goes.

Anonymous said...

Brilliantly put!! Haha!!

I'm from Singapore, and this blog's been my weekly source of joy after seein the team go thru such a season..

Quality blog indeed.. can't say the same bou wats going on at the club..

Anonymous said...

Nice one HF.
But you missed a couple;
Deal or No Deal where we Deal on any offers made for our best players and No Deal on buying quality players.
Countdown.....to relegation.
Ghost Hunters where we guarantee that you see a Spector every week!

John V P

T.I.S said...

Thank you Hammalot, found it out myself :)