You have to wonder why, exactly, the club felt the need to take the players go-karting and clay pigeon shooting by way of a bonding session. I "bond" with a bunch of guys on a Friday night by...playing football!
Isn't the game supposed to be about a "team", about a squad that is united and focused on a common goal? What more "bonding" do they need beyond the challenge of avoiding relegation for God's sake?
And as for go-karting, how stupid would the exercise have looked if a kart had crashed and a key player been injured?
I can hear the contrary views already. No harm in having some fun. A change is as good as a rest. It's a way of relieving the pressure. Cobblers. Cobblers. Cobblers.
The best way of relieving the pressure is to win games. The best way of having fun is winning games. The best change this team could have would involve stringing together back to back wins.
And what's the best way of winning games? Training. Never mind buggering around in go-karts, the defence should have been going over drills designed to prevent the opposition scoring. Never mind shooting lumps of clay, the forwards should have been practising hitting the back of the net. Never mind bonding through fun and games, the midfield should have been working on how to bond the defence with the attack.
I worked a full week last week. Nobody took me clay pigeon shooting or go-karting. Had I wanted to go, I would have paid for myself and gone on my day off. These buggers are millionaires, they can do what the bloody hell they like; why do they need Uncle Avram to take them for a fun day out?
Mollycoddled comes to mind. And mollycoddling aint going to get us out of trouble is it?
If this doesn't work, I wonder where Avram will take them next? OK lads, there's this great massage parlour I know...