Sunday 20 February 2011

Bonding Exercise? Cobblers! Make Them Train!


You have to wonder why, exactly, the club felt the need to take the players go-karting and clay pigeon shooting by way of a bonding session. I "bond" with a bunch of guys on a Friday night by...playing football!

Isn't the game supposed to be about a "team", about a squad that is united and focused on a common goal? What more "bonding" do they need beyond the challenge of avoiding relegation for God's sake?

And as for go-karting, how stupid would the exercise have looked if a kart had crashed and a key player been injured?

I can hear the contrary views already. No harm in having some fun. A change is as good as a rest. It's a way of relieving the pressure. Cobblers. Cobblers. Cobblers.

The best way of relieving the pressure is to win games. The best way of having fun is winning games. The best change this team could have would involve stringing together back to back wins.

And what's the best way of winning games? Training. Never mind buggering around in go-karts, the defence should have been going over drills designed to prevent the opposition scoring. Never mind shooting lumps of clay, the forwards should have been practising hitting the back of the net. Never mind bonding through fun and games, the midfield should have been working on how to bond the defence with the attack.

I worked a full week last week. Nobody took me clay pigeon shooting or go-karting. Had I wanted to go, I would have paid for myself and gone on my day off. These buggers are millionaires, they can do what the bloody hell they like; why do they need Uncle Avram to take them for a fun day out?

Mollycoddled comes to mind. And mollycoddling aint going to get us out of trouble is it?

If this doesn't work, I wonder where Avram will take them next? OK lads, there's this great massage parlour I know...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can you tell me what experience you exactly have had as a top sportsmen to understand their situation? You sound like you think you know everything when it appears to have nothing substantial to back it up!

Hammersfan said...

I do not understand what point you are making. Did you see our defending against West Brom? What do you think will help, work on the training field, organising the defence, taking them through drills, or messing around in go-karts? I don't think you need first hand experience with top sportsmen to answer that one personally. Da Costa and Reid have barely played together. Da Costa, Reid, Jacobsen and Bridge have NEVER played together as a unit. Yet here we have them messing around in go-karts just days after they were ripped to shreds by a team who look destined to join us in the Championship, unless Hodgson can get them organised through the very "repetitive training regime" that I am advocating.

Stani Army said...

"Our plan to send the players on a warm-weather break collapsed because the management couldn't find anywhere warm.

But I don't see a great problem in players staying at home, like millions of other working Brits"

Says Brady in her column. If she's referring to the team management...bloody hell. Cant even do that.

Stani Army said...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3420724/Karren-Bradys-football-diary.html

Anonymous said...

If you dont understand the point I am making you obvisouly have no idea what position they are in at the moment so cannot make any judgement about what is right or wrong. Clueless, no doubt you will have an opinion on it again though, as you have so much experience in being a top level sportsman. Are you even top level at what you do? No I didn't think so...... hahahaha

Hammersfan said...

2236 You, sir, are a moron. I don't understand you because you don't make sense!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, I am the moron when you can't even understand basic English. Guess you aren't very clever and certainly not even in the top half of performers in what you do for a living. Here, straight forward English; have you ever been a top sportsman? Next question; if not why are you trying to pass judgement on something you do not understand? It's a shame you do not have the inteligence to run and website, let alone make an opinion. But don't worry "Illegitimi non carborundum"; google it, as no doubt you will not understand the meaning! ps, I guess your thinking double l in inteligence right now.....

Anonymous said...

5-1 and 3-1 wins post bonding eh? If you had seen their faces and enjoyment when they actually took part in these events (i was looking after them for one of them) maybe your article would have read slightly differently.