Friday 11 February 2011

Gullible West Ham Fans Follow The SuGo Trawler

What was it Cantona said? "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea." Well, be warned, as little as sardines are, they are whales in comparison to the scraps that Sullivan and Gold will leave in their wake!

Our fans are wheeling, screeching, diving, swooping, circling, whipped into a frenzy of false hope at the sight of the white water churning from the bow of Good Ship Sugo. West Ham have won the Olympic Stadium and Tottenham Hotspur have been left floundering in the wake. The talk is of a new dawn, a new golden era, of 60,000 happy Hammers cheering to the rafters as the mighty Irons stand at the shoulder of the Gunners and slay the humbled Spurs and Chelsea. All you need is a big stadium, it seems, to secure your passport to the Champions League.

"Fools, fools", Benjamin cries, as the gentle giant Boxer is driven away to his death, "Can't you see what is written on the side of that van? David Sullivan, Pornographer and Glue Boiler, Willingdon. Dealer in Liquidations and Bone-Meal. Kennels Supplied.' Do you not understand what that means? They are taking West Ham to the knacker's!"

Wake up before it is too late! We stand not on the brink of the Champions League but of the Championship. Instead of "investing" in asset stripping by setting up the land grab and redevelopment of the Boleyn, wouldn't it have been better for Sugo to secure Premiership survival by investing in the team? Isn't that what real fans would do?

A 60,000 capacity? We can't even sell out Upton Park without all sorts of last minute deals! Where are these 25,000 new disciples going to appear from exactly? As the Church of England can vividly testify, building mighty cathedrals does not a congregation guarantee!

But like all Gulls, our fans are so easily led. Remember how Eggert was leading us to the Promised Land and the Holy Grail not so very long ago? Fools! Fools! Fools to a man, a woman and a child! This dream you are being sold may be the final chapter in a protracted nightmare. A club without a stadium of its own, with no assets beyond its playing staff, has no collateral to secure lending and no long term future. Try taking out a mortgage on a tenancy agreement!

This is not just a new beginning my friends, this is the new beginning of the End.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Swisshammer says....

All too true HF.

I am close to being ashamed of being a Hammers fan. Should it be this way?
I would be the first to agree that Green st needs a makeover, but ripping out the stadium and all of that source of employment? is that right?

Hammersfan said...

Why should we care about the local businesses that have served us so superbly down the years? What loyalty do we owe to them? Bugger the lot of them! And bugger the ghosts of Bobby Moore, John Lyall and Ron Greenwood whilst we are about it! Bugger our heritage! Bugger our memories! Bugger our soul! Bugger our roots! Bugger, bugger, bugger! Sullivan can make a film out of it! Buggery on Green Street!

Anonymous said...

You are a freak! get over yourself - it's the 21st man - grow up.

Anonymous said...

Go and follow the Lillywhites miserable git.

Anonymous said...

HF - are you related to that chap in Oxford Street that wanders up and down with "the end is nigh" bill board?

Yes, of course it will be a sad day to leave Upton Park, but surely we are moving out of the terraced road to the best mansion in the block. We really would have been kippered if the Spuds moved in instead of us.

I have no idea how the finances will be structured, but you paint the gloomiest scenario. I would guess the stadium will be owned in a separate comany by the various partners. If Upton Park is sold the proceeds could be used to acquire a long leasehold interest so there would still be a property asset.

Ongoing there are likely to be lucrative sponsorship, advertising and tv deals to enhance income. Sugo won't be disappearing in a hurry.

Running track the main problem but expect something will be sorted (retractable seating)when the hype dies down.

All we need is a decent team. Hope someone has remembered there's a crunch game at WBA this pm, Just our luck that Keane is kippered already.

Anonymous said...

So SF,you would have rather had your beloved Spurm playing there?
I'm not overjoyed at all that WHU won the recommendation but as soon as your lot put in a bid then MY beloved West Ham had to win it or it would have meant the slow strangulation of the club until its demise..."Does anyone remember that quaint little club that used to play just down the road"

Anonymous said...

Lets be realistic The Boleyn lost most of it's bite when it went all seater. It's a bugger to get to and the vast mayority of the locals will have a party when we move away. But im not a cold fish i have many good memories but many bad memories of games gone bye, i do feel for the local pubs and cafe's as they must be gutted we are moving!. As for the new ground the running track is not ideal but things have moved on since the last time grounds were built with a track. It will give us a stadium that will be a beacon in world football with all the benifits that gives. 20 thousand more that the spuds and chelski week in week out! Up there with the Arse and Manure for ground capacity. Harry says today that we will play in a half empty stadium, What a muppet! does he think the clubs owners don't know how to run a club. They know they need to fill the stadium so prepare for cheap season tickets and match day tickets "The Boleyn 20.000 season tickets at 900 quid avarage a pop-18mil, 40.000 season tickets at 600 qid a pop-24mil" Matchday tickets £54, Matchday tickets £30, and so on and so on. Then look at the other benifits "HEY Mr Wonderkid (the new goal scoring machine) would you like to come to The Boleyn or the new world beating 60.000 seater top ground in Europe?. Revenue Up! Prestige Up! local and not so local kids now slipping away to the Arse and Tottscum when young thinking "hey look at the Irons they are the f**king dogs"! The owners may not be to everyone's taste but after seeing them today i believe they bleed claret and blue! True fans of the club! think on that. 30 yrs i have been very happy staying in the top league and perhaps beating either the Chelski or Spuds. Now i believe we have a real chance in the next 10 years time seeing Spud and Chelski fans saying "I hope we can compete with the mighty iron's this year!" But before all that happens i will be up at WBA to see us bugger the baggies 3 nil COYI now and for the supper future!

Anonymous said...

08:48 Hear Hear - couldn't have said it better myself.

Lizzie said...

I was rather surprised to see that nice Mr. Sullivan pledging to uphold "promises made in the Queen's name". He seemed rather proud of having flaunted the laws of my land and indeed I had to arrange for the little chap to have a short stay in one of my holiday camps.

Is anyone really sure that that's really what he said and not; "promises made in the Queen's Head" to his bankers.

Dave said...

I find myself in total agreement with your comments