Sunday 13 February 2011

Julian Dicks Fits The West Ham Bill Perfectly!

JulianDicks2008.JPG

So, Dicksie has revealed that he has had talks with Grant about joining the coaching and management team at West Ham! Fantastic, that's just what the doctor ordered!

Dicks is exactly what we need, he has so much experience of working with top quality players after managing Wivenhoe Town and Grays Athletic! Never mind that he left Wivenhoe by mutual consent - sacked in other words - after just 21 games, what has that got to do with the price of fish exactly?

No, to understand the brilliance of this potential appppointment, you only have to look at  Dicksie's record in management! At Wivenhoe, he had a staggering win percentage of 14.29%.! That's even worse than Zola's and Grant's! And at Grays? An incredible 24.29%!

Yes, this is the man we so desperately need to turn us into a winning team! ADD his winnining ratio TO Grant's and we would have enough points over a season to finish in 10th!

Of course, his appointment makes perfect sense in two other ways. Firstly, the idiotic fans would be over the bloody moon. Dicksie! He's the man! He'll lay into them in the dressing room! Never mind that it hasn't worked with semi professional brickies and plumbers, the Dicksie approach is sure to work with a bunch of egotistical millionaires isn't it?

And then there's the little matter of how much he would cost. It wouldn't take a lot to match the wages of non league football would it? Yep Dicksie fits the bill perfectly!

24 comments:

Sav said...

I think Dicks is great and yes we need his motivational and tactical drive badly. But, I wonder, if our manager has so many deficiencies (can't motivate, can't organise, poor selction tactics, and so on) and we need to recruit other people to make up for these shortcomings (one to organise the defend, another one to motivate the team, and so on), then why do we need to keep Avram Grant? Can someone please explain this to me?

Anonymous said...

still do a much better job than you though

Mmmmwwwwwaaaahhhhaaaahaaaaaaaa!!!

Stani Army said...

More Machiavellian moves. The blind loyalty of some of our fans is one of the reasons why we continue to be taken for a ride. It's the very thing these owners are taking advantage of. They're west Ham fans, gold played for us, they'll never do us wrong!

Same stupidity that got curbishely the job. He's one of us, he's westham through and through. Yeh right, we're still reeling from his mistakes.

And now dicks. Cheap option to please the fans and not take the brave decision of sacking this manager.

Stick to golf Julian. Your ramblings in the tabloids are proof enough that your finger is way off the pulse.

Apart from Trevor Brooking, there are probably no other ex-hammers that can add anything to our club. We need to remember this.

Hammersfan said...

On what do you basis your opinion of Dicks then Sav? His record doesn't stand inspection does it?

1406, I doubt it. But I am not a name am I? Sullivan & Gold will give the morons what they want, and it won't cost them much. Perfect. Great way of exercising control over the moronic masses!

Anonymous said...

Mate, you're pretty much proving yourself to be the moron at the moment.

Take a deep breath, make a list, two columns, for and against and just check the replies to your last 6 posts. Hardly anyone agrees with what you say.... and from what I can see the sentences are well constructed, punctuation isn't so bad either, which means that those who comment here don't fall in to your moron theory.

You're also a pompous arse if you think you can bring more to the table than Dicks.

Hammersfan said...

Pompous, mois?

To be dragged in the wake of the passive flock and to pass a hundred and one times beneath the shears of the shepherd, or to die alone like a brave eagle on a rocky crag of a great mountain: that is the dilemma. ~Praxedis Guerrero, RegeneraciÓn, 18 February 1911

Hammersfan said...

How about this one:

The trouble aint that there is too many fools, but that the lightning aint distributed right. ~Mark Twain

Anonymous said...

The devils' advocate stance can be interesting occasionally to provoke good debate,you take this position over every single item...it's very tedious,cynical & blinkered.

Hammersfan said...

Try putting together an argument in support of the appointment of Dicks based on his record! Grunting "Dicksie" is not enough!

Anonymous said...

We proved how much fight we can give when Parker gave us a half-time talk, Dicksie is just as passionate about us, if not more so! Sure it should be Avrams job but we all know he's not up to it, so if we can bring someone in with passion to perk the boys up and give them a bit more fight, then why not? Its not like Julian will be managing the side, so why bring his win rate into it?

Hammersfan said...

1750, two things. If Dicks is inspirational, why is his win ratio so low? Motivators motivate do they not?

Secondly. how often do you think you can deliver the same "Fight them on the beaches" style speech before people nod and say, "Here we go again"? It has a very limited shelf life!

Anonymous said...

18:22 I dunno they're football player are they not? one dimensional Churchillian speeches will probably work wonders ad infinitum. JD has been around and I'm sure he learnt a thing or two in the dressing room, I mean what harm can he do, it's not as if anyone is asking him to manage the team?

Hammersfan said...

JD has failed a lot!

Anonymous said...

bet he wouldn't fail kicking your head in..........

Hammersfan said...

I bet he wouldn't. Very useful skill that. Give him a job, recruit Di Canio, get an all black kit, get rid of Grant & Gold, followed by the black players, and call ourselves the West Ham National Socialists! Idiot. Dicks should give you as a referee!

Anonymous said...

you've obviously never seen him play for the mighty Hammers....

Hammersfan said...

I obviously have. And your point is? I saw Bryan Robson play with huge distinction and passion for Man Utd and England but how good was he as a coach or manager? I saw Bobby Moore, the greatest English player ever, but what did he achieve after he retired? Billy Bonds was a great leader by example on the pitch, but how good did he prove as a coach or manager? Where is Ray Stewart now? If passion counts, surely he should be in a coaching or management role? What about Billy Bremner before he died? Crap as a coach and manager.

Look at Dicks' record as a manager! Motivator? Apparently not!

Anonymous said...

Billy Bonds was a terrace hero and a very good player but, like Dicks, it means nothing. Bonds was a bad manager and Dicks will be a bad appointment. Remember this is the man who told Bonds & Redknapp to F'off when told to do some laps with the other players at the training ground.

Lets hope he has just been interviewed and doesn't get appointed.

Hammersfan said...

Spot on 1927

Anonymous said...

Dicks has not been bought in to manage the team,there is no denying he was a very good defender as we can all see by the results we need a defensive coach,god knows what Wally Downes is doing.
If we stop the goals going in we will win a lot more than we lose

Anonymous said...

Look past Dicks, he hasnt got the tactical know how or the man management, but his sidekick, Kenny Brown, is highly experienced. More so than Dicks by a long way.

Ask yourself why Kenny Brown was his first appointment the minute he arrived at Grays ? Because Dicks has the name, but Brown has the know how.

If West Ham want to bring in anyone to help the cause then Kenny Brown is a much better idea.

Hammersfan said...

How many times did Dicks play for England? None. Why? Because he was reckless in the challenge and not terribly good defensively. And it wasn't an anti West Ham bias! He played for Liverpool too!

Anonymous said...

He didn't play for England because he had a skinhead - why do you always try and warp the truth to support your weak arguments? I remember there being much debate throughout his career at West Ham and Liverpool for him to represent England. He was a hard man and passionate, unlike the weak coward that you have become, I find it impossible to believe that you were born anywhere near the East End as East Enders are renowned for being chirpy and though in equal measure.

Hammersfan said...

What cobblers! Keegan was selected with a bleedin perm and Waddle with a mullet, so JD's haircut didn't keep him out of the team. There were better left backs out there, simple.