Saturday 14 May 2011

The Committal of West Ham United

Friends, we have come together for the funeral of West Ham United.

We come to mourn a relative, to honour a departed friend and to show sympathy to the bereaved.

We believe that those who die in Christ share eternal life with him. Therefore in faith and hope we come together to offer a prayer of thanksgiving and trust to God for what he has done for us in the death and resurrection of Jesus. We recall the certainty of our own coming death and judgement, and we proclaim that Christ is risen and that those who believe in him will rise with him.

Father, your love is stronger than death. Those who trust in your Son receive the gift of eternal life. Help us, as we hear your promises, to believe them and receive the comfort they offer. You are the giver of hope; fill us with joy and peace in believing, so that we may have abundant life through the power of the Holy Spirit, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Having given thanks for the life of our club we now commit the mortal body to the Championship. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died, was buried, and rose again for us. To him be glory for ever.

16 comments:

Stani Army said...

Within 24 hours? Thanks for the Islamic burial HF hahaaaa! So considerate :)

Hammersfan said...

I've buried them whilst they are still technically alive mate. They deserve to see the lid lowered, to hear it screwed down tight, to feel the vibrations of the sods landing on top of the coffin...

Anonymous said...

Yes - six foot under before the death certificate has been signed..

Our Father

Forgive us... as we forgive them that trespass against us (particularly Clattenberg for disallowing Piq's goal aginst Wolves, however much that may prove to cost).

And lead HF not into temptation..

Amen

Stani Army said...

...but medicine has this debate too HF. The medical definition of death may be quite different to the definition regular folk hold.

I'd say we're medically dead, to continue with the metaphor.

Hammersfan said...

Too late for me mate! I have been tempted time and time and time again!

Hammersfan said...

We've been brain dead for years now!

Stani Army said...

Hahaa, yes.

Kareem said...

So much potential in 05-06..then he got some terrible terminal disease in 06-07..and things got worse since then.

West Ham, I think the world would have been better place without this tragic incident, but sometimes, dealing with the wrong people at the wrong time can cause horrible things.

Maybe we weren't meant to be owned by billionaires..

We should have seen it coming, when we lost our defense...when we lost our best striker (Deano)..when Carlton Cole all of a sudden was our top scorer...

RIP

PS: Can't believe I'm going to lose that bet to that stupid Wigan fan here. I blame the entire team ,the crappy management, and the owners who are about as thick as that South Carolina chick in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

Rab said...

Nice metaphor HF.

I feel like I'm hanging around the death-bed of a dear friend. I can't bare to see them slip away but I know it's time for them to go and I wish they'd just get on with it. Because at this stage it's not the dying that hurts. It's the thin, glimmer of stupid hope that there may be a miracle that allows for a recovery. You know there is no realistic hope of that happening; you know your friend has lived precariously lately and really doesn't deserve a reprieve but the soul destroying tormenting hope is still there.

This has been a while coming. Since the sacking of Pardew West Ham's condition has been pretty terminal.

I'm not saying that Pardew's sacking was the cause of our decline, rather, just another symptom of the problems at the club.

I'll be glad when it's over. The grief won't last long. And when the final whistle blows and West Ham slip into the Championship, the gut wrenches for a moment, the tears need to be fought back (I've been here before - we all have) but you know that there's always next season. And it's not that far away.

Football fans, despite the outward appearances of many, are optimists at heart. I'm sure most of us can't wait for this season to be over. But I bet you're already looking forward to the start of the next.

The great God of football is generous enough to give every club, even the most undeserving, the chance of resurrection.

el martillo said...

As Blackpool rocked and Wolves eyed freedom through the open door of their cage, West Ham’s premiership life expired yesterday afternoon, alone and without a fight. I will soon be marking my fiftieth year of wearing claret and blue and fear that that is more likely to be in League One than in the Premiership.

As is often the case with close family members I felt there was something terminally wrong long before the official diagnosis and busied the rest of my life so as not to feel the pain so acutely. I still maintained radio silence on a Saturday afternoon so that I could watch the match “live” on Football First, but the old excitement wasn’t there, it was like watching an old video where you knew the result.

The funeral will take place this afternoon. No doubt the Icelandics, Duxbury, Nani and Zola will be standing guiltily at the back of the churchyard, watching the end of the job they started. Pini Zahavi and Barry Silkman should be there of course but they will be busy selling body parts to pay for the funeral.

The pall bearers will be Gold, Sullivan and Grant; the three who in my opinion shoulder the blame for this year’s terrible capitulation. Only three appalling bearer’s? Won’t that be unbalanced? The team’s looked that way all season and it’s too late to change anything now.

Hammersfan said...

Two old friends I haven't heard from in ages turning up at a funeral; it's just like the Eastend!

Deane said...

when do the npower championship fixtures get announced for 2011/12

Stani Army said...

And there's another! Rab, Marty, Deane....where have you boys been? When we needed you most?

Spank them HF. Come on now guys, one at a time over HF's lap .... ;)

Mary Frye said...

Do not stand at my grave and weep
Premier status I will not keep
I am a thousand bubbles that blow
I am the claret and blue on snow
When you awaken in the crowds hush
I am the swift downward rush
Of Hammer’s fans in circled flight
I am the Boleyn lights that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not try

Rab said...

I've been dropping by and reading your posts HF but its just been one of those seasons that has left me descending into endless expletives every time I try to talk about West Ham. It'll be better next year... I keep telling myself that.

USA Dave said...

Rab, that was a fantastic post. As was El Martillo and Kareem. Very cathartic to read. Seriously.