Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Christmas Presents For West Ham Players
It's Christmas time! Wouldn't it be nice to send the players a present to try to lift their performances from Boxing Day onwards? Who should get what?
Faubert: A heart! Perhaps if we sent him along the Yellowbrick Road, he might find one!
Stanislas: A start on the right side of midfield so he can use the foot God gave him to cross with and not the one Zola seems to think he can use!
Dyer: A new body.
Ashton: A legal action against Curbishley for playing him before he was ready.
Spector: Carrying his West Ham form on to the international stage. We have to beat the USA first game up in the World Cup!
Green: Velcro for his gloves, a ladder to help him reach crosses and a nasty streak. Why does he allow oppoents to stand in front of him at corners?
Upson: If he stays, a place in the England squad for South Africa. If he goes, a return of his injuries woes!
Tomkins: A DVD of England v Brazil 1970. Watch Bobby. THAT is how you defend!
Ilunga: A memory. Perhaps then he might start replicating his performances of last season.
Parker: Rooney's field of vision. Scotty has a great heart but he does miss a pass too often to be a genuine England player. And then there is his goal scoring...
Jimenez: A Ryanair flight back to Milan.
Cole: A starting position for England in South Africa after a fantastic second half of the season.
Franco: As for Cole, only substitute Mexico for England.
Noble: An extra yard of pace and self belief.
Diamanti: Goals that are five feet wider and five feet higher for when he shoots in open play!
Da Costa: The faith of his manager.
Behrami: An injury free 2010.
Collison: Lampard's scoring record in the Prem!
Kovac: A dream move to Real Madrid. Well Faubert nearly pulled it off!
Perhaps then, Zola might get the best present of all, survival in the Premiership!
Posted by Hammersfan at 08:54