Monday 1 February 2010

How unprofessional are Parker, Noble and Behrami?


OK, I know that at first glance the headline may sound odd but stay with me. Unprofessional? Parker, Noble and Behrami? The guys run themselves into the ground every match, how the bloody hell can you call them unprofessional? Easy.

What is our biggest problem at the moment? Finding a balanced team. We can play Stanislas, Collison, Franco (or McCarthy), Cole and Diamanti and we will probably score two goals every game; the trouble is we will also concede three or four! We can play Parker, Kovac, Noble and Behrami and we will be as solid at the back as a guy fed exclusively on hard boiled eggs; but what hope is there of scoring goals?

The trouble is, Parker, Noble and Behrami are not chipping in with the 5 or 6 goals each that a midfielder should be contributing over the course of a season. Without goals from midfield, you need two highly prolific strikers just to average a goal a game, as each striker would need a return of a goal every two games to reach even this meagre total. So far this season, the "big three" in our midfield have mustered just two goals between them, both netted by the junior member of the triumverate, Mark Noble. Is it any wonder that we struggle to put away Pompey and Blackburn with this sort of return from three of our first choice midfield?

So why the unprofessional charge? Because they don't seem to be doing anything about it! Parker wants to play for England and yet he can't manage a single goal in 21 Premiership games! His technique when shooting is awful. He leans back every time as if he is trying to score a conversion in rugby and, without fail, manages to blast high and wide! Now this is disgraceful for a professional footballer. Why isn't Parker sorting this out in training for pity's sake? Get your head over the ball and hit through it, it aint rocket engineering is it? Parker should be staying behind for an hour every day, just drilling shots into the bottom corner over and over again until he cracks it. And the same goes for Behrami and Noble too. If each of these chip in with three goals between now and the end of the season, that will go a long way to keeping us up. Zola should be saying, stay out there on the training pitch and sort out your technique - our Premiership survival depends upon it.

Meanwhile, Diamanti can practice bending shots around a wall. Just stand Mido in front of the D and say to the Italian, try to bend it around that!

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

what an absolute embarrassing article ... honestly mate, you must be very bored tothink up this thread ...

Hammersfan said...

Really? Are you happy with their goal scoring contribution? If so, you will be happy playing in the Fizzy Pop! Tell me, why don't they resolve it on the training pitch?

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

do you actually have problems? I dont think you should ever write anything again its embarassing to read

Anonymous said...

I doubt anyone is happy with their goalscoring return but to label them "unprofessional" because of it is unbelievable. Do you know what their instructions are from Zola/Clarke? No, nor do I. Unprofessional? Kieron Dyer or Calum Davenport maybe but those three

Go support Spurs. You would fit in well there I think

Anonymous said...

Hey mate,

I'll be honest I think the headline was just an attempt to get clicks from NewsNow. Seems like you're trying to write an article about the headline, which is the wrong way round.

This sort of stuff does not get you regular readers, in fact it gets you added to a load of ignore lists.

I don't know if you will consider this constructive criticism, but that's how this is intended.

Anonymous said...

For once i agree.

Stani Army said...

Parker's shot is rubbish but it would be ok if he had an attacking midfielder beside him chipping in with goals and he just concentrated on the defensive element. Behrami can't shoot either and although Noble can, he's too slow to get far enough forward for an opportunity.

I was watching Man Utd attacking against Arsenal and the way their midfielders sprinted for the opposition box, it was like a tsunami.

I think some of the problem is to do with trust. Do our midfielders trust the striker/winger to get the ball in if they go up; do they trust our defenders to cope if the attack breaks down and the opposition counter? With the personal we have had so far, I wouldn't.

If ANY player does not address his weaknesses in training then that has to be deemed unprofessional. They have the choice to come in early as they like or stay back after training for as long as they like. They have the best facilities and help they can get so there is no excuse. Whether Behrami, Parker and Noble are doing so, I can't say for sure.

DaDon said...

Incendiary drivel as usual. Do you actually have more than a superficial understanding of the game?

Uncannily, Scott Parker addresses this issue today http://www.whufc.com/articles/20100201/parker-going-for-goals_2236884_1951429
however I don't think even you would dare claim any credit for it.

Anonymous said...

I find it incredible you call yourself a hammers fan!!! Parker & Behrami have been fantastic this season while they've been fit. If some of our other players showed their commitment we would be looking down the table by now. Whilst they may not be weighing in with the goals neither are our front line and that is where the problems have been. As for conceding if we could actually keep two regular centre backs fit for a run of games we will see more clean sheets as a result. You are either misguided or stupid and by reading your other posts I think its obviously the latter. It's so called support like yours that we could do without.

Hammersfan said...

LOL Of course I'm claiming credit for it. The article was passed for Sullivan's approval first and he slipped it to Scott to give him the heads up!

The repsonses here are largely predictable. Why do you think Lampard scores so many? Because he has honed the skill. Stani, your comments are, as ever, sensible. If they are working on it, they must be crap because passing the ball with pace is a basic skill and shooting is just passing into the net. I don't understand how these guys can look themselves in the mirror with such dreadfully poor returns. We should all strive to maximise our performance - Parker's goals per game ratio has been awful for years now.

Hotshot C said...

It's like waiting for London buses, none.. Then four come along at once (it's raining strikers)...

Hammersfan said...

1926, you clearly know NOTHING!Between them, Cole and Franco have scored 10 in 25, that compares with most strike pairings in the Prem! Diamanti has 5 in 10. The problem is with the other 3 in midfield!

Hammersfan said...

LOL Hotshot but will we be raining goals! Raining Midos - that would hurt!

Kareem said...

Makes sense, Fanno! Think of the goals Chelsea get from Lampard, Arsenal get from Fabregas, Man U get from Scholes, or even the goals that Fellaini or Piennar put in for Everton. It all makes sense! Stanislas and Collison will go for goal..Diamanti, well I don't even know what position he's meant for. I like Noble alot...and I think Parker can do alot more, but he needs to actually do alot more...Behrami...he's a great player, but HE IS NOT A LEGEND LIKE THE LOT OF YOU PUT HIM AS. HE'S FAST AND BRINGS PACE, BUT HE'S ONLY SCORED ONE GOAL.

Anonymous said...

your a knob mate

you have not a clue

T.I.S said...

To be fair you can practice shooting all day long but if the opportunities do not arise in a game what can you do. These are three players we cannot afford to get on the back of, Arsenal were at their very best in the times of one nil to the Arsenal, and personally I wouldn't mind us striving for that. I would much prefer the midfielders working on creating the opportunities for strikers then to put in extra hours shooting practice. An assist is just as important as a goal.

Kareem said...

Here's a comment about Parker: Remember that goal he scored against Boro and the goal against Bolton? All he needs to do is play like Bowyer is for Birmingham or like he did in Leeds.. he just needs to just push himself into the box instead of just stand around it. Problem is, Kovac isn't the best guy to hold the midfield.

Fuck my life

Kareem said...

ONE MORE THING.

So because Parker is good at holding the midfield, we need Noble to do the Bowyer thing. Noble's shot is better than Behrami's ..it's clear. Noble scored more goals than Behrami, and I don't care if Behrami has played for Lazio and is wanted by Roma and Juventus or even Barcelona. Goals like the one against Wolves will be a big help. Noble just needs to break the defense and find space and actually give a through-ball or shoot it in. I know Diamanti does that, but the difference is that, Noble actually gets those on target. I'm sorry, Diamanti has been scoring penalty and that penalty box open goal against Bolton. You can all sue me for all I care. Noble and Parker in the middle with Collison/Diamanti and Stanislas on the wings. If anything, Stanislas has been impressing me based on his standards compared to that of Behrami.

Kareem said...

ONE MORE. I PROMISE. lol.

If we actually sign a decent right-back, I wouldn't mind putting Faubert on the right side in mid-field. He hasn't been bad lately..surely been more of an attacking threat than Behrami!!!!

Loozas30users said...

Two sure fire ways to drum up hits ferya blog HF, because it's hits that count not content eh? Wind up the Hammers fans and when your tired of giggling in front of SyncMaster to that wind up the Spurs fans for a bit instead works every time din'it so glad that little things please little minds aincha LOL

Stani Army said...

Don't worry HF, we'll have plenty of goals as soon as our first team is fit :)

.........Cole....McCarthy

Diamanti...Franco... Hines... Ilan

Mido.... Nouble.... Dixon.... Sears

...............Green

(I am kidding of course)

Anonymous said...

How unprofessional is this article?

Parker and Behrami have been outstanding this season and don't deserve this nonsense.

Hammersfan said...

But behind your joke is an important point Stani. I would much rather have seen one forward, one wide player and one centre back / utility defender signed in the window. Why have we signed three forwards? Because we haven't got confidence in any of them. It is the spray shot approach. I would say we were going in to the final third of the season on a wing and a prayer, but Zola won't use the wings so it is just a prayer! Please God, let McCarthy find his form of three years ago, Mido his form of four years ago and Ilan - well who is he exactly? Anybody EVER heard of him before?

Hammersfan said...

Kareem, mind your language please mate. I feel your frustration! And from such a natural optimist! Calm down mate, it will all come right in the end. How can we fail now we have McCarthy, Mido and Ilan?

Hammersfan said...

2126, look at what the article SAYS. I say they run themselves into the ground every game but a professional works on the weaker areas of his game. Look at how Cole has polished his game. Why can't parker and Behrami do the same? Egos too big to put in the hard yards in training perhaps? Behrami even joked about his poor scoring record last season. Stop joking mate and do something about it!

Essexhammer said...

Your totally right HF,our midfield is not only goal shy but shot shy.Out of all of them DIAMANTI is probably the best of the bunch for shots on goal,but his scoring ratio is pretty weak.

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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

"natural optimist!" you kidding??? been reading your drivel for a while and you are the most pessimistic and depressing blogger out there, I'm not even sure you're a hammers fan.

Hammersfan said...

Not me, Kareem. I'm a pessimist after 40 years of hurt supporting West Ham

Stani Army said...

Haha! Very good HF.

Yep, I would have liked a play maker, a striker and a centre back at the very least. I think it looks like a combination of the extended take over and poor planning in terms of scouring the market (because our financial situation had changed).

From the outside, it seems to me that Zola may have been going for Nani's targets initially (possibly just loans) but gave up in the end and with the help of G&S, went out and got his own in the short time he had.

In defence of Zola and Clarke, maybe the midfielders and defenders we needed are going to have to be more long term buys (instead of short term like Mido), so will have to be hunted carefully and in the summer window rather than in the desperation of the January one.

Maybe if Palace had money we could have sold Sears to them, knowing that we'd be bringing in 3 strikers. Not sure they would have taken up the option though but the departure of Moses could have left a spot. I'm sure he would have moved irrespective of them going into administration.

I am surprised at the length of contract we gave to McCarthy. If he gets fit and skinny like Mido :) ....yes HF, he's skinny! then a 2.5 year contract's fair enough. His goals/games ratio is world class.

Can't wait for our next game.

Anonymous said...

If it's that easy to improve at football i.e. 1 hour a day training, why are you writing a geeky blog on here and not playing professional football?

Answers on a postcard....

Anonymous said...

This story smells of desperation, desperate to constantly remind us that your standards will never be met by West Ham. If the headline is rhetorical then I think you're borderline pathetic seeing as you have praised Behrami and Parker's work rate all season long. If the headline is a genuine question, then my apologies, and my answer is not at all! Perhaps they are not scoring as many goals as we would all like but we are not Man United, arsenal or Chelsea, and as long as fans such as yourself and me have the West Ham mentality we never will be those clubs. We are hopefully in a period which will bring stability, yet constant depression which I get off this blog makes me feel sorry for you, because your passion for West Ham is clearly enormous yet your great expectations will never be met I fear.

msh group said...

thanks

Anonymous said...

prob the best feed this site has written. 100% correct. Westham fans that wrote bad remarks to this feed are just lieing to them self's. If the boys were playing well this season then why the hell are we close to bottom. We have no contributing midfield, i say what the feed says is prob the best thing this site ever has had to say...... Now just exept the fact that we need to work on them and stop fannying around...... Sel from essex aged 12

Anonymous said...

What utter gash

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a staggeringly bad article.

Anonymous said...

Quite clearly a provocative article aimed solely at generating web hits and argument.

I doubt that the author truly believes what he has written. Even if he has, the word 'unprofessional' is the wrong choice.

'Unprofessional' insinuates a lack of motivation or effort and having been at every WH game this season my opinion is that none of the three players identified can be found guilty of that.

Given their work rate during matches it's hard to believe that they're not grafters on the training pitch as well.

I'm sure that they would all love to score far more goals but I doubt that it's not for the want of trying. Probably more due to a lack of skill or opportunities. There's a reason that Lampard and Gerrard play for top clubs and earn the biggest salaries. There's also a reason why we're in a relegation fight - because our players are generally not as good as those in teams above us!

I'm not criticising our players for that and neither would I criticise this particular three players for being unprofessional. Not good enough at shooting? Maybe. Not positionally aware enough to get in scoring positions? Again, maybe. But unprofessional? Not a chance.

I'm sure that they work very hard at improving both their shooting and positional awareness but professional sport is not as easy as just saying let's work on this and we'll all become as good as the top 4 players. If only life were that simple.

I'm fairly sure that like most of the rest of us, these players work hard at chasing their dreams but often come up a little short in the skill/talent department.

Many people would like to be a millionaire and put a lot of effort in to chasing that dream but never achieve it. It doesn't make them unprofessional, it means that maybe they're less talented or lucky than others chasing the same dream.

We can't all be Steven Gerrards.

Anonymous said...

You are embarrassing mate.
Noble is shit and i wouldn't even wipe my arse with Kovac.

Get a life !!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This guy is a sensationalist moaning never has been, he'll try throughout countless days to draw you attention. Not realizing throughout, quality matters. NOT; response count.

Yeah he has a point, the goal tally is below par. Even the biggest moron realized that before having sat through this manic depressive nonsense.

If only, if only, this man could be as critical of himself as he is others. Hey, wants the chance of that... you putting your undoubted talent and being a moaning lump toward questioning ones own ability.

I'd even enjoy a book on your life, just to read how many people have told you that your pathetic. Yet still youy don't learn, it's not conforming you know!!

Hammersfan said...

If it was designed to generate hits, it was bloody effective but it wasn't. Tell me, how many goals have Tottenham and Villa's midfields contributed this season? Or Everton's? Or Birmingham's? Their forwards haven't netted many more than ours - Cole and Franco are returning a goal every 2.5 games between them. Take out Diamanti's and Noble's penalties, and the midfield has contributed hardly any goals to the cause. That's why we are where we are now. Everton coped without any forwards last season because Fellani and co chipped in regularly from midfield. All the article is saying is that Parker, Behrami and Noble should be working harder on what is a basic skill for a midfielder. Some of you guys seem to want us to stay in the bottom 5!

el martillo said...

I'd like us to stay in the bottom 20............I like the pictures!

Hammersfan said...

LOL Marty. Now I might struggle to find 20 in a line!

el martillo said...

Eighteenth from bottom will do nicely and don't worry about a regimental line; "at ease" will be fine!

el martillo said...

Seriously, the lack of professionalism lies with those responsible for putting such an unbalanced squad together. Clearly we needed another striker, but did we need three? We have a dangerous single point of failure in Upson, that was a problem that was hardly addressed. Parker, Noble, Behrami and Kovac are all defensive midfielders; in the attacking department we have two youngsters who are experiencing "second season syndrome" and a maveric italian. Nani I assume is the man whose main remit is to put the squad togethor and he seems to me to have been a spectacular waste of cash.

Stani Army said...

...cut and paste HF, cut and paste. I sound like I'm speaking from experience....not so of course.

Anonymous said...

Why are you not a professional footballer if it is so easy to improve at football?

Hammersfan is a bell said...

Hammersfan after reading a few of your blogs i have come to the conclusion that you are a complete and utter muppet!! I dont think you understand the logic of football or the job of a midfielder. I would like to further add that you actually make me physically sick to my stomach. Get a job, and then maybe you could afford a ticket to actually watch west ham! x

Hammersfan said...

2257, what a stupid point. I am too old for starters!

11.53 So, scoring goals isn't in the job description of a midfielder. No wonder Lampard, Gerrard, Modrich, Deco, Ballack, Lennon, Kranjcar, Milner, Scholes, Valencia, Fabregas, Giggs, Fellani, Arteta, Bullard, Cahill and Ireland are so crap. Funny the way that, Bullard apart, they all play for clubs in the top half of the table! Coincidence that!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Why should age matter?

You should be able to do what Teddy Sheringham did, if it is so easy to get good at football!

Why haven't you been training for 1 hour a day instead of writing this blog for the last 2 years?!

You could be playing for England right now!

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