Tuesday, 16 February 2010
West Ham To Exploit Ashton Franchise
With Dean Ashton revealing that West Ham will be paying him £65k a week for the next 4 years, Sullivan and Gold are exploring opportunities to exploit the Ashton brand.
A chain of "Deano Pizzas" will be hitting the high street soon and toy stores will feature a new doll ready for Christmas, "Non Action Man". A range of Piggy Banks will also be launched, featuring a pig shaped Beano on three legs, holding a lame foot in the air. As you push money into its mouth, the Beano grunts, "More, more".
The club shop will no longer stock XXL shirts for the fuller figured man, henceforth they will be known as Beano Size. With obesity on the increase, the club are also planning to launch Ashtons, the male version of Evans, the Outsize Shop. Plans are also afoot for Ashton to launch a career in pop music, with a cover of the Dire Straits classic "Money For Nothing".
Ashton however retains the best franchise of all, the license to print money!
Posted by Hammersfan at 16:11