Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Cole To Stoke? They'd Keep Him In The Bath!
Years back, when I worked for a housing developer, I was at a marketing conference in Stoke and the Managing Director of our Midlands Division challenged the design of one of the houses in the new range. "It's bloody ridiculous," he said in mock outrage. The Group Marketing Director demanded to know why. "Cos there's no bloody window in the bathroom!" came the reply in a heavy Birmingham accent. "So tell me, how the hell are they going to get the coal into the bath?"
The response from us Southern Softies was that it was bloody ridiculous building any new homes in Stoke, the whole place needed to be wiped from the face of the earth! What a dump!
So why on earth would Carlton Cole want to move away from London to play for Stoke City? Perhaps the lad is confused - he's not the brightest - and thinks they play in Stoke Newington!
And Carlton is the sensitive sort so how would he react to a naked Pulis challenging him in the showers after a game? I don't think he would get the arm round the shoulders treatment up there!
But if Stoke have £15m to spend and really want Carlton, then fair play, let them have him. That would signal the end of his fledgling England career of course but Cole may figure that Capello doesn't fancy him anyway. He had his chance and he blew it.
To be honest, I think it is much more likely that Carlton will swap one Claret and Blue kit for another and link up with ex Hammer James Collins rather than ex Hammered At the Bookies Matty Etherington. Playing for Villa, Cole might just revive his England career, although why O'Neill wants to replace one goal shy England striker with another is something of a mystery.
£15m would represent good business for West Ham, providing, of course, the funds are made available to buy a replacement! But the last time Stoke tried to buy an England striker from us, he announced his retirement two months later. Believe you me Carlton, that may be the better option!
Posted by Hammersfan at 00:09