Middlesborough Can't Find A Shirt Sponsor

Times be hard up North in the Fizzy Pop. So hard, it seems, that the never so mighty Middlesborough are unable to find a company willing to pay to have its name emblazoned on the club's shirts for a whole season. Such is the dire state of affairs that the chairman has decided to rent out the shirts on a monthly basis.

The trouble with this plan, of course, is it means that they have to find NINE different companies (run by complete numb skulls obviously) who are willing to PAY Middlesborough to sport the company name on their shirts.

Any suggestions? Well, given the monthly nature of the contract and the colour of the shirts, perhaps Tampax might be interested. Following a defeat, Strachan could at least account for the reverse by saying, "It was the time of the month." And should they retain Mido, there must be scope for either a kebab house or Weightwatchers to take a slot. But I'm struggling to think of anybody else who would see a link with the club as beneficial. Any suggestions?