Sunday 29 January 2012

QPR's tactical discussion for Chelsea game leaked.

Training pitch, Friday. Hughes calls the players together and dishes out the bibs saying, "Red bibs Chelsea, yellow bibs Man City."
"QPR boss," corrects Barton.
"Quite. Quite. Whatever. Now then boys, tactics. Big competition. FA Cup. Big game. Chelsea. Big club Chelsea. Big players. Chelsea."
"Not all of them boss, some of them are quite short," corrects Barton.
"Not from where I'm standing," corrects Wright-Phillips.
"Whatever, whatever," says Hughes, irritated and marking Barton's card. "Now then, Chelsea boys form a line to the left of the halfway line. Come on, come on, straight line. Form it up neatly. That's better. Now then QPR boys, file down the line and shake hands."
"Which one's John Terry?" asks Anton.
"He's number five, so fifth from the left," replies Hughes.
"But that's me," complains Gabbidon. "I'm not being John Terry. I'm black."
"OK, ok", says Hughes irritated. "Swap positions with who ever that it is standing next to you." Sparky turns to Eddie N and asks "Who the hell is that next to Gabbs?" and his coach replies with a shrug.
"Ok, now then, we have to get this handshake right," insists Hughes. "The eyes of the world will be watching."
"What about the game?" asks Barton.
"Look, who is manager here?" demands Hughes. "The game doesn't matter. It's the handshake that counts!"
"I'm not shaking John Terry's hand!" insists Anton. "He's a racist. He called me rude names."
The other players agree. "Not shaking his hand boss. Solidarity. Supporting Anton. Sharing a dressing room. Sticking together. All for one and one for all," each mumble to the other. Hughes is getting increasingly irritated, muttering, "It's like being back at Man City with bloody Bellamy and Tevez. Except they could play a bit of course!"
"Let's strike a compromise," Paddy Kenny suggests. "We could all refuse but Joey could shake Terry's hand in the centre circle. After all Joey's brother murdered a black teenager in a racially motivated attack."

A silence falls over the pitch. Anton looks at Barton and Barton looks back. And smiles.

"Up for that Joey?" asks Hughes.
"No problem for me to shake Terry's hand," replies Barton.
"Solidarity. Supporting Anton. Sharing a dressing room. Sticking together. All for one and one for all", the players mutter before Barton jogs alongside Ferdinand and asks, "Oy Anton, didn't you share a dressing room with Bowyer at West Ham after he beat up that Asian guy? Respect man, respect!"

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

fn hilarius. hypocritical or what.

Anonymous said...

Is this blog about West Ham ! or QPR?.

Peter qpr fan said...

Only you could make team spirit sinister.

Hammersfan said...

Come on Peter, your words, "Some things are bigger than football." Can you take the moral high ground with Barton as your captain? How can Ferdinand share a dressing room with him. Is a Nazi salute not worse than Terry's words? What about Barton's brother? And his assaults? And how comes Anton shared a dressing room with Bowyer? Can't you smell the stench of hypocrisy? Be honest!

Paul Payne said...

West Ham Tactics:.......What Tactics? We've got Carton...

Hammersfan said...

And how does Anton reconcile playing alongside a guy photographed next to the leader of the EDL? Barton had no idea of course! Like Dabo started the fight that led to the detached retina. What colour is Dabo? Hmmmm, let's see...

quinn park rangers said...

FOAD you bell end

Anonymous said...

good heavens hammers fan, that was just really really poor! If anybody says that is a funny blog, they have a poor sense of humour.

CornishR

Hammersfan said...

1315, exactly what I might expect from a supporter of a club captained by Barton. Sad to read it from a QPR fan, however; I thought you guys were better than that until I started reading your replies to this blg.

Anonymous said...

I confess I couldnt see where you were coming from on the Ferdinand Terry thing but this clarifies. Have to agree with the hypocrisy you expose.

Anonymous said...

quality and very well said. I think quite a few points have been made and been made well. (with humour added too) Shame some people that read this havent got a sense of humour or sense to see what your points are

AppyAmmer

ps keep up the good work Hammersfan

Hammersfan said...

Cheers 1358. Strange the way the gRs are holding their peace over this one. Perhaps they now understand how absurd the Terry incident is when set alongside what Barton and Bowyer did - two plyers that Ferdinand has happily shared a dressing room with. So, Anton clearly believes that angry words are worse than physical violence or, in the case of Barton's brother, racially motivated murder! Hypocritical or what?

Hammersfan said...

Cheers Appy.

Anonymous said...

1358 here. I am a gR as you call us.

Anonymous said...

you really have lost the plot. this site is almost all about QPR . why dont you change the name?

Anonymous said...

you really have not got a life,dont you have anythig better to do with your weekend. A west ham fan thinkinh more about QPR than this own club and even his own family, u fu#king sado.

Anonymous said...

R's fan in peace, found this article very amusing! LoftusRoadLad

Hammersfan said...

Cheers LRL