Tuesday 8 June 2010

After Destiny's Signing Of Der Hammer, Who Next?


Apparently, Hitlersburger is claiming it was “destiny” that brought him to West Ham. Yeah like he knew we were known as the Hammers before he signed! I reckon it was the same “destiny” that brought Neill to the club personally – Destiny being spelt Der Wonga.

But still, it gets one thinking about who else might have been destined to join us because of his name. Well, given our recent history, it’s amazing we missed out on that other famous German, Stefan Kuntz, before he retired. Bernt Haas should also have arrived whilst the Icelanders were in control, along with Carlos Costly. Of course, we nearly signed Rod Fanni to play full back last summer; but we settled for Spector instead and he is a complete Kuntz anyway! Given the performances of Jimenez last season and what Sullivan and Gold are now prepared to pay for a player, we really should have snapped up Milan Fukal; whilst surely McCarthy deserves to be teamed up with Hulk!

Watching our performances under Zola, surely Jelleyman was a must whilst Misse-Misse would have been a better bet than Mido! If we sell Green, surely given the way S&G made their money, Quim is a must as his replacement. Assuming we can’t afford any Brazilians, we could team him with Minge and Muff.

And every one of those has genuinely played professional football! But believe you me, none have caused more laughter when seen on an opposition’s team sheet than the names of Spector and Mido!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont expect you to believe me but we have agreed a deal to sign Jimmy Bullard on a 2 year contract for free and we are also very very close to signing Chris Samba from Blackburn. Fat Sam wants a replacement before he allows him to move for a fee in the region of 6 million squid. Bullard needs a major medical and also Celtic want him but he world prefer to play in the prem.

Stani Army said...

Look, there's two D's in 'dildo'...

...just saying.

Rod Fanni could have helped G&S sell some toys!

Anonymous said...

the Yak of course

duhhh

Anonymous said...

West ham are battling it out with fulham for 2 players. one is belhadj from pompey and the other is dieumerci mbokani who is a 24 year old congolese striker who plays for standard liege. apparently hes in london now holding talks with both clubs. standard liege want 12 million for him but west ham are trying to get him on a season long loan deal. and hes goal scoreing record is quite good. hes scored about 36 goals in about 72 games for standard liege. and about 7 in 12 for hes country.

Anonymous said...

Very Funny HF.
Back to what you do best!

John V P

Anonymous said...

on the official west ham site. it says avram grant has got hes work permit.

TurdsOut! said...

Bullard! great! another injury prone player! just what we need...

TheORGster said...

HF he WOULD have known that we are called the Hammers before he signed! because he played against us when he was with Villa for a season.

MyCityIsIdeal said...

Wasn't he named Der Hammer in the UK, played 90 games in premier league... but let's not let that spoil a good story.

AngryfromCheam said...

You need to get someone to assist you on this site, perhaps another SJ Chandos as really it's impossible to expect us to twiddle our thumbs while you visiting the dole offer or whatever it is you do when you're not here. You have a certain responsibility as people wish to post, read, make replies etc throughout the day and not just as and when it suits you.

Hammersfan said...

1420, it is my site to do with as I please, with respect. Sadly a campaign of hate by a group of idiots has obliged me to use the moderator facitity, and actually, the number of comments has gone up as posters are able to engage in sensible point making, rather than have to wade through a lot of childish nonsense like "HF is a prick".

Hammersfan said...

Good point Orgster. I forgot that!

Stani Army said...

HF,
You could get your son to do some moderating for you. I'm sure he will be able to get in front of a computer more often then you. I'd do it for you but I doubt you'd trust me. I don't blame you though, that's how the world is.

Hammersfan said...

That's a thought Stani. I may take you up on that.

TheORGster said...

Seriously you're the only site that is moderated and you have to ask yourself (again) why you and your blog attracts such derision when other sites don't.... there's a world cup coming up FFS we need access and live comment - by the time you get home in the evenings, games will have been played and teams will be on the plane home and this place will be stuck somewhere 9 hours behind what is actually going on, it'll be even worse if you watch games down the pub - get your act together, you owe it to the people who visit here. If you don't mind me saying it think you shouldn't be quite so arrogant towards the people that visit and support your blog.

Campaign of hate?! where I missed it? There was nothing to wade through and occasionally some of it was amusing, the HFII guy was funny and I think you should learn to laugh at yourself and not take it all so personally. I think he was the main reason if you're honest you started moderating the site as you couldn't handle it. I certainly don't remember any other contributors complaining about it....

If you can't make it then my votes with stani...

Hammersfan said...

LOL Orgster, your concern for a site that you have voiciferously criticised is quite touching. I will take into account your preference for Stani. HF2? Didn't you get that joke? I would have thought after lbmisgod and stopatthecurbs, you would have seen through that one!

TheORGster said...

Vociferously I think is one "i" and it was not my intention to come across as critical. You often mistake me for someone else, I only call myself orgster because I've noticed you go on about it, I'm afraid the lbmisgod and stopatthecurbs is honestly completely lost on me, and I'm afraid I don't believe that HFII was your joke.

Hammersfan said...

You see, another whose identity has apparently been stolen. You cannot imagine the number of messages of "yours" that I have had to delete in my moderator capacity, including promoting gay pornography. It is unfortunate that these morons exist. Apologies that they have taken your name in vain.

Hammersfan said...

And thanks for the spelling correction!

Stani Army said...

Vote Stani! Thanks Orgster ;)

Looks like I'm getting a bit of support HF. How about we launch a campaign to get me into our midfield as the creative spark? I promise to go easy on Avraham. You could sponsor me and TGGC's rep will rocket with all my exclusives :)

Hammersfan said...

Drop me an email Stani mate.

TheORGster said...

I'm flummoxed....