Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Stoke - The New York of England!


In the wake of its football club making a bid for England nearly man Carlton Cole, Stoke on Trent is launching a marketing campaign to brand itself as the New York of England. Forget London, everybody in the know will be heading for Stoke in the future it seems.

As I write, travel agents around the globe are clearing their shelves of brochures advertising London and replacing them with literature entitled, "Stoke - England's Biggest Apple!" Never mind Buckingham Palace, Stoke has the 800 acre Trentham Estate, who cares about the Tower of London, Stoke can boast the Gladstone Pottery Museum and the Wedgewood Museum too! Who needs Oxford Street when you can shop till you drop in Stoke City Town Centre? What was that, Harrods? Why not shop in TJ Hughes instead?

Stoke has everything you need for the perfect holiday apparently; which may explain why so many of the residents don't bother to get a job! If I was Carlton Cole, I would be absolutely itching to get up there! After all, Stoke are the second oldest football club in the country and in all that time have won a plethora of top honours: the League Cup in 1971-72 (after defeating West Ham, with Bobby Moore in goal in the semi final), the Autoglass Trophy in 1992 and the Auto Windshields Shield in 2000, the Watney Cup in 1973, the Bass Charity Vase in 1998 and the Isle of Man Trophy no less than three times. And that's not mentioning 13 victories in the Staffordshire Senior Cup. Bayern Munich, West Ham, Aston Villa or Stoke? Poor Carlton will have sleepless nights trying to arrive at a decision!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

If Milton Keynes is the new Venice then anything is possible.

Anonymous said...

the best thing to come out of stoke was west ham last season.

1964stokie said...

....and I suppose that Dagenham is the centre of all that is cultured in western civilisation....did the double over you did we boys, and your top players want away to the bright lights and big time....if all you can do by way of reply is dis our city thats a bit poor, always thought you hammers fans were bigger than that!

Hammersfan said...

I've done a similar piece for Dagenham and Grays mate. The article is in response to some comments on the earlier thread about Cole's move. Be honest, Stoke isn't a cultural Mecca is it? The main point is that Stoke would be, at very best, a sideways move for Carlton. I know you did the double over us last season, and Fuller scored the goal of the season at Upton Park in the process, but you are not a big club are you? And mid table Prem is the best you can realistically hope for.

Anonymous said...

Hammers are a bunch of bubble blowing poofs. Up the Celtic

Anonymous said...

Is anyone making any grand claims that Stoke are a massive club?

But if they offer the best deal to club and player, what's the issue?

It may be sideways, but it could well be the only show in town for him at a fee WH can accept and wage package the player can accept.

Is it shocking that a good player from a club with a "mountain of debt" attracts interest from a debt-free, cash-rich club in the same league?.

Stoke currently get good crowds of 30,000, with the potential for more.

And they have spent more seasons in the top flight of English football than West Ham if we're being picky.

It's not as if West Ham are a truly 'big' club who are going to trouble the Champs League placs this side of 2030, is it?.

A big club and a good club, but not one with real potential to strike out into the top 6 any time soon.

Any Stoke signing can live anywhere from S.Cheshire to N.Birmingham, taking in some of the most desirable placs to live in the country.

The world does not begin and end in Essex.

Anonymous said...

Do you realise what a sad & twisted tool you sound. What's all this bias towards Stoke for ? Is it because we took 6 points off you last season maybe !

Anonymous said...

west ham underachieved big time last season and lost to a load of small crap teams that no one cares about. stoke included. it will be a lot different next year.

Anonymous said...

stoke hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. how crap get back on your port vale sites you micky mouse outfit.

Hammersfan said...

1721, the one thing I will concede is the quality of Stoke's fans. The atmosphere you generate for home games is second to none and I was impressed with the passion when you were down at Upton park too. You deserve to have a more successful club!

Shaun said...

Fuller?! Goal of the season at Upton Park HF?? I didn't think it was THAT sensational...all I saw was defenders standing off him, inviting him into the penalty area before missing tackles and watching him poke it home past a helpless Green?! Hardly the Ricky Villa slalom shuffle now was it?!

Hammersfan said...

Well actually it was remarkably similar to the Ricky Villa goal Shaun. They showed one after the other on Sky Sports News and you would be hard press to tell one apart from the other - apart from the shirt colours. Remember Villa was going past Coventry players, hardly the best the game has ever seen. Name me a better one!