Tuesday 29 June 2010

They Are Queuing Up To Reject West Ham!


Beckham, Henry, Ben Haim, Riquelme, Remy and now even Richard Wright - it seems that anybody who was once anybody is falling over himself to say, Nah, Non, לא, and no bloody chance to West Ham at the moment. Poor Hitlersburger must be wondering if it is his anti perspirant. At this rate, with all the players rumoured to be leaving, he will only have Kieron Dyer for company in the dressing room come the start of the season!

Maybe it is the money that Sulllivan and Gold are willing to pay in wages, or maybe footballers around the World are waking up to the gypsy curse, placed on the club when Turds refused to buy a sprig of heather from the old hag who accosted him on his day of arrival. "Joina ze 'Ammersa. 'Ava you-a seena what as 'appeneda to Roberta Greena and Mattya Upson? Notta to mentiona Kierona Dyera anda Deana Ashtona."

We were promised plenty of comings and goings this summer but things do not seem to be panning out the way the two Davids planned. Green's and Upson's values have, of course, plummeted and, for the time being at least, only Stoke City seem to be serious about buying Calton Cole. Apparently Behrami may be on his way to Roma, though that seems a strange potential destination for the former Lazio man. Reports also suggest that Roma are looking at Behrami because they need a "winger". Have they seen the guy try to cross a ball?

As things stand, we still have pretty much the same squad as we finished last season with. This is, no doubt, down in part to inertia in the transfer market for the duration of the group stages of the World Cup and because most of the players we have been linked with are either the product of over fertile minds in Fleet Street and Blogland, or simply publicity stunts on the part of our coalition owners.

Hopefully things will start to hot up soon because otherwise, I am going to run out of things to write about!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I understand your frustration - all the other clubs have signed so many players and we are being left behind as usual. I can't think of any signings that other clubs have made but I'm sure there must be loads otherwise your article would look rather foolish.

Stani Army said...

...maybe because we're not really after them because we can't afford them and just initiate the process to say 'but we tried'.

HF, you'll never run out of things to moan about!

Stani Army said...

..sorry, write about, I meant write about :) honest!

Anonymous said...

HF is a cock

Hammersfan said...

Oh dear, you are back.

Sav said...

Riquelme is a class act. It would be fantastic to see him in claret and blue. He is the creative player we so badly lack. But I gather AG doesn't want him! My God, I can't believe I am saying this, but I am already missing Zola!

Hammersfan said...

Past his best and poor attitude Sav. And no, I'm not talking about Avram!

Anonymous said...

like the pitcher. thats that old scary bird out of that film. drag me to hell. good film.

Hammersfan said...

No it's not, that's my wife!

Anonymous said...

lol Hammersfan. but you better hope she dont hear you say that. otherwise you'll be in the dog house tonight.

T.I.S said...

your a cock, he's a back, can I be a belly?

Sav said...

I would prefer Xavi or Fabregas but they are not available (at least not for the money we offer). Riquelme is a little old 32+ but he is match fit (played in all the games in his club in Argentina). Also,a little attitude doesn't always hurt - it is called fighting spirit. We surely need a bit of that on the field.

Sav said...

Also HF don't underestimate how much our young players will learn and benefit from playing next to Riquelme. I would go for it, if he is still interested.

Anonymous said...

patience patience, the 'transfer window' opens this week, and the World Cup is still on... apparently! (Although on the evidence of the last transfer window, I'm looking forwrd to more disappointment)

No Moore said...

What would you prefer moron?

Offer a contract to James Harper and Lee Trundle in the hope that they are likely to accept a contract?

I couldn't care less if we get rejected by 999 players if it means we sign 1 decent player.

This is no surprise of coarse, you thrive on the failure and embarassment of the club when in fact YOU are the biggest joke associated with our club - Half-season ticket or not.

Hammersfan said...

Charming No Moore. Read the article and you will see that I am not coming down either way - I suggest most of the potential signings were figments of somebody's imagination.

Anonymous said...

where can i queue to reject you?

Hammersfan said...

Just join the next queue you see after you've come out of the dole office.