What a bloody nerve! I thought Fernandes was taking the piss when he offered £3m for a player who will wear the Three Lions one day, but Pardew thinks he is Bruce Forsyth compering 'Play Your Cards Right' yelling, "Lower, Lower" before bidding an utterly derisory £2.5m! Pardew, of course, differs from Brucie in the sense that he's always reckoned on getting something for a pair!
Still the bid has revealed two things: firstly that we are not yet so brassic that we have to sell our blue chips for farthings; and secondly that Tomkins still hasn't signed a new contract, despite claims to the contrary. He has two years plus to run on his current deal, but if he is thinking about a move, that is very worrying as he is one of the few players in our squad who can cut it in the Prem!
Meanwhile, Pardew should be told that shafting the wife of an employee of the club is one thing, but screwing the club itself is another matter!
Although, I'd have no objections to him giving Princess Karren a seeing to - just for old time's sake you understand!