Saturday 17 December 2011

West Ham 1 Barnsley 0 West Ham in Wonderland!

Well, despite being sent to the stands, Mad Hatter Allardyce is, no doubt, smiling like the Cheshire Cat after starting with Tweedledee Carew, Tweedledum Cole, Tweedledummer Piquionne and Tweedlepapa Diop, and squeezing out a 1-0 victory against Barnsley. That is, of course, the same Barnsley team that shipped five goals in 45 minutes against mighty Ipswich, but what the hell, a win's a win as the Flamingos and Hedgehogs will tell you. And bloody good job too because three defeats in a row might have provoked Queen of Hearts Karren to point at Doctor Evil and demand, "Off with his head!"

The game will be quickly forgotten except for two things: the debut of young Daniel Potts who showed Allardyce that kids can perform if given their chance - Montano, Brown, Hall and Montenegro will be hoping that Doctor Evil has taken note - and the crowd's reaction to the announcement of Caterpillar Captain Kev as man of the match. How many times has a MOTM award provoked boos around a home stadium? True the fans were angry that young Potts had been overlooked, but to boo your captain speaks volumes of the growing unease at what is going on at Upton Park. We played like a team of dormice again today, and only won because Barnsley showed no adventure whatsoever.

And it was always going to be thus. Start a team so obviously devoid of pace and guile and the only way you are going to win is via a set piece. Noble's delivery for the goal was perfect and Diop nodded home astutely but, apart from two penalty claims that were overlooked, that was just about it. The injury and suspensions will be trotted out as excuses but 10 of the 11 starters today have Premiership experience and we should have had more than enough quality to see off a very ordinary Barnsley team. Had Allardyce started with pace on the flanks - Sears and Montenegro maybe - we might have stretched Barnsley; but the way we set up, we were always going to labour.

How crap is Piquionne? He was utterly disinterested at Reading last week and he couldn't be arsed again this. Carew, meanwhile, is a shot bolt. Without Taylor we have no creativity on the left and without Baldock no pace up front. Nolan remains a passenger.

But Potts was promising. And as things stand, we have to be grateful for small mercies!

17 comments:

Elf 72 said...

Just going to have a sip from my half full cup.

Right . . .

We are top of the league (excluding goal difference), say we are top of the league (excluding goal difference).

Life is good on my side of the fence HF.

I have a bounce in my step and will sleep well tonight.

Just think how good we'll be when we hit form!? Bit of a warchest to bring in new players for Jan, grind out the results until then.

We stand a better chance of signing quality players in Jan than we did at the start of the season when we could have imploded. Prospective signings can join us safe in the knowledge that we are in the box seat for promotion.

Everything is looking pinky in my rose tinted glasses. I'll pop a pair in the post.

Hammersfan said...

That's all true Elf. On the other hand, the quality of the football is absolutely dire and even if we bludgeon our way to promotion, we are hopelessly ill equipped to stay up. Green was iffy under crosses again today. Noble apart, the midfield was clueless creatively, and up front Cole still can't hit a barn door from five paces if allowed to think, Piquionne can't be arsed, and Carew can't run!

T.I.S said...

Went to the game today, bit let down by the performance. From where I was sat the players make it look so hard to score. I agree a lack of pace and trickery on the wings is letting us down big time. Also disgraced by those booing Nolan, twats!

Don't forget the hare? running on the field, quickest thing at Upton Park in a long time.

Masty said...

Seen the comments from Barnsley manager Keith Hill? Seems like everyone views our style as long-ball except for Big Sam!

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11095/7383569/

Elf72 said...

lah lah lah, can't hear you, lah lah lah

I don't disagree with your observations mate but it will have to do for now.

I cannot let a winning performance get me down and still believe we'll click into gear.

What I said the other day about home fans being difficult to play in front of? Booing your captain . . sheesh!

Hammersfan said...

LOL my father used to do that Elf! The lah, lah, lah bit!

Anonymous said...

One of the things we used to be able to take pride in was that our support was utterly unlike the moaning, whinging miseries from WHL. No longer. Not judging by some of those who inhabit this site, including the king of the misery guts- HF himself.

We are second. I'd have settled for that at the start of the season- wouldn't you? We are a championship side- that isn't Allardyce's fault- can I remind you of that. He is having to work with what he has. We have been unlucky that quality players who can play- Baldock, Taylor, Lansbury, even Bentley, have had injuries. Championship teams can't cope with such losses- yet we are still joint top. So be realistic, cheer up, and ffs try to remember that we won.

Hammersfan said...

The trouble is, we have played poorly all season, even when players were fit. Potts has shown Allardyce the way. Play the kids!

darrenharry said...

20.09: The best entertainment today was provided by "Hammerhead" the new mascot being introduce and dancing round the pitch to "Hammertime" and shaking his ass at the 800 Barnsley fans. It was Danny Dire today, cant be glossed over. The best bit for me was the booing of the MOM announcement. I hope it was a mischevous tongue in cheek gesture by the "judges". As for Freddie Piq-Be-Gone (Please) his "performance" should be investigated by the FA. Woeful, inept, and disgusting are just 3 words i can think of right now. As for Carew, maybe he was carrying a knock, maybe someone had slipped rohypnol in his gatroade, who knows. Apart from Cole, no one could be arsed up front. On the positive, Danny Potts made a MOM debut, great display.

Manse79 said...

Decent win today but disappointing to see that Green did not play the ball out to his back 4 once. Not once! Every single time he went long and at least half of those times it came straight back! Forget the injuries, that team should still be able to pass the ball from back to front at least now and again otherwise how else can you keep possession. I like Big Sam and I do think he is the right man to get us out of this league but today was horrible football. We are no longer the neutrals team!! On the positive tho the future can still be bright with Potts, Noble and Tompkins today.

Anonymous said...

Players take time to settle- its not instantaneous for a team to gel. The injuries disrupted the chance of that happening, so all in all we have done OK to be second.

I'd love to see some or the youngsters come through - and good on Pottsy today, but in the absence of a top crop of them then i'm afraid we may have to see how they develop and rely on wizened, gnarled pros before bringing some class in in the Summer if we go up.

US HF said...

Piq is pay checking, he doesn't care, he didn't care last year. He shows up to play every couple of months in hope he can stay afloat. This isn't something new, it was the same thing last year w that guy.

Brendan said...

KEEP PLAYING POTTS! We need some youth and this kid at 17 showed he had the skill to play with the team! Start bringing up more youth guys like Moncur you will see results! Bring Hall and Nouble back from loan and play them come new years!!!

Anonymous said...

T.I.S.19:13 ....

You went to the game today you say... and you saw a 'HARE' running on the pitch did you?!....

In that case, may I suggest you take a trip to Specsavers, as they are doing some great deals at the moment!!
Anyone apart from a certain Mr S. Wonder could plainly see it was a feckin' CAT ?!!!
You sure you were actually AT the Boleyn and not down the dogs?!!

Hammersfan said...

I suppose it depends where you are in the stadium in relation to the animal. I've been in the Bobby Moore stand and, with the play in the opposite penalty area, have struggled to tell players apart, never mind a small animal scampering along the pitch. Were you at the game 0753? Where were you sitting in relation to the pitch invader?

Anonymous said...

Does it matter where he was you mug? geez you are such a twit, always trying to get one over on people.

Anonymous said...

They’d won four of their last five... we did bloody well considering our team - Well done lads!