Friday, 27 April 2012

Allardyce Furious At Disrespectful Snub

After leading West Ham to third place in the Championship behind Southampton and Reading, Allardyce is understandably miffed at being overlooked for the Barcelona role following the resignation of Pep Guardiola. Talking ahead of tomorrow's clash with Hull, Doctor Evil raged:

"This club was in a mess when I arrived. I've turned the whole club around. I've taken a team that finished rock bottom last season into third place this. If it wasn't for my forwards who, without naming names, have let me down very badly, I would have won the division by a country mile. I have done a fantastic job."

"But what gratitude do I get? The fans talk bollocks about our style of play but I know the facts. There's not a whole lot of difference between the way Barcelona play and the way we set up. Do Barcelona play 4-4-2? Of course they bloody don't. And where do you think Guardiola got his ideas from? He watched tapes of my Bolton team, that's how. When I've watched Barcelona this season I've been struck by the similarities. True they haven't got a Kevin Davies, but had they had one, Chelsea wouldn't be in the Champions League final now would they?"

"I was made for that job. People talk about the Special One but are Real in the final? They would have been had I been in charge. So why was I overlooked by Barca? Because of all that long ball bollocks. Tell me, how many times did Barcelona get the ball into Chelsea's box compared to their possession? You can't score if you don't shoot can you?"

"I know the facts. Barcelona have made a very bad mistake that they will live to regret. They listened to Guardiola and he didn't want me to get the job because he wants to return in a blaze of glory when the new man fails. Kevin Nolan is seething too because he fancied a stint in Spain as well and he wouldn't have missed the chances that Messi missed on the night."


Anonymous said...

You are so predictable, just sat and waited for this. In no way funny, or original, and all your critisism of our manager makes me wonder if you even want us to do well.

Anonymous said...

Nice Allardyce parody again HF - don't worry about those who believe all the spin emanating from Boleyn Castle.

Up the Irons and forward to the playoffs


Anonymous said...

You are so predictable, just sat and waited for this. In no way funny, or original, and all your critisism of our blogger makes me wonder why you even want to read this site.

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